Anne's Ramblings

2003-02-26T14:21:00.000-05:00

Thanks to blogger, I lost an entry this morning, got pissed and opened an account at LiveJournal.

Come see.

2003-02-25T07:43:00.000-05:00

I was still a bit down when I went to bed last night and P. teased me, saying I had post-Oz stress syndrome. Cute. Although very possible.

I was surprised to learn he had actually watched some of the show, even though I wasn't here, and had seen all of the ending. Usually he falls asleep when watching t.v. that late, so I guess it's something that Oz kept him awake. P. thought what he saw of the episode was well done and he was pretty impressed with Lee's and Christopher's performances. That is not something I hear too often, so it made me happy. One thing he said that made me laugh was that Chris used his smirk well in the balcony scene. Then I said something about that smirk being trademark Keller and P. commented that he has noticed Christopher using it on SVU and it doesn't work so well on that show. I was a little stunned to realize he noticed something about Christopher that I never had.

I had not recorded the episode on Sunday night since I was over Rami's. So I set the VCR last night and watched a little bit of it this morning. I had been thinking about the way Chris went over the balcony and thought it didn't look quite right so I watched it in slow motion. During the beginning of the fall, the camera stays on his upper body and the focus is blurry. But during the end of the fall, the way his body is positioned, it looks like he was on the *other* side of the railing and just pushed off. If he had gone *over* the railing, he would have done a backwards somersault before hitting the ground, I'm pretty sure. Not that it makes any difference, but shit like that bothers me. And maybe it's just my way of doing the whole denial thing. *g*

Chris Keller did not kill himself. He is not dead and he and Toby are eventually going to work it all out. There, I feel better now.

2003-02-24T08:06:00.000-05:00

After I left Rami's last night, I put Sarah McLachlan's ``Possession'' on in my car CD as loud as I could stand it and mourned for Chris Keller. I cried almost all the way home -- gasping sobs that made me feel a little bit silly. But I needed to grieve because I loved him.

I thought I was prepared for last night's episode, having read all the spoilers. And, in a way, I was. At least as far as the Beecher-Keller storyline was concerned. That actually was less painful than I expected. Like dargie says on her LJ icon, ``I still believe.'' By the time the show ended, I had to head home, so Rami and I didn't get to really talk about it, so I was left with my thoughts as I got in the car. I decided to listen to ``Possession'' because I have always thought of that as a BK song ever since Dina made the music vid with it. Some of the lyrics seemly sadly appropriate after last night's episode:

Into this night I wander,
it's morning that I dread,
Another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread,
Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride,
Nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied

It made me think of how Keller sees his relationship with Beecher and, perhaps, life in general. If he truly got to the point where he believed that Beecher was not going to forgive him, then I could believe he'd commit suicide. And so I mourned the man he could have been; the loving soul he'd become with Toby.

As for Beecher and Keller's love, Tom did not kill it for me and I don't think that was his intent. When Toby told Chris he was death, he did not, imho, mean it cruelly. Toby's voice was full of emotion, as if he had just come to a very painful conclusion. Even in that moment, I believe he loved Chris. And no one could convince me otherwise. When Keller shouted ``Beecher, no!'' just before going over the railing, I did not believe he was trying to frame Toby for his death. The way I saw it, it was Tom's way of making us question whether it was suicide or an accident. The line was inappropriate and did not fit in the scene, in my opinion.

Still, overall, I enjoyed the episode and I loved watching Beecher and Keller in those final moments, even if they were painful to watch. Now I need to go read all the posts to see what everyone's take is.

2003-02-23T14:39:00.000-05:00

Today I finished a lengthy entry for my recs blog that I have been working on for weeks. I feel relieved that it's done.

Mostly, though, my mind is on Oz, which will be starting in a little more than six hours. I will be heading over to Rami's afterall. I am looking forward to see Lee's final (!) performance as Tobias Beecher. *sniff* I can hardly believe it's almost over. What a ride it's been. It's going to be weird not having any more new episodes to look for. I don't really feel sad, especially in light of the way TF wrote this season, but I will miss Tobias Beecher immensely. He is probably my most favorite t.v. character ever and that is mainly due to Lee Tergesen. (I guess some of the credit has to go to Tom. *grumble, grumble*)

Will you look at this face? Man oh man.

*sigh* How could anyone *not* fall in love with that face, I ask you?

2003-02-22T17:45:00.000-05:00

I finished editing the next chapter of ``Promise You'' and my new fic, ``Waking,'' and posted them both to my list. Then I put them up on my fanfic page. I feel so industrious. *g* It feels good. I would never have been able to get them both ready so fast without Mav's help.

~*~*~

There's a Vermont poet named David Budbill, whom I first read in college. A lot of his early work was about native Vermonters and I really loved it. His more recent stuff is about his life in Vermont, which is where I lived for most of my childhood. I was lucky enough to meet David in 1984 and we have kept in touch ever since - mostly at Christmas. Today, David and some other poets were being featured on Book TV on C-Span. It's going to be repeated tomorrow at noon.

Most of his poems are too long to type here, but my favorite is ``Arnie,'' which is from a now out of print book called ``The Chain Saw Dance.'' There is one small excerpt from the intro to ``From Down to the Village,'' I would like to share with you.

``Drawn toward this place by dream, we,
like those who came before, for reasons we can't speak,
take root, become this place, define it.

We are here and always leaving.
We are water like the river,
just passing through.''

--David Budbill

2003-02-20T19:49:00.000-05:00

Anne's Favorite TV Screen Kisses

1. Beecher and Keller's New Year's Eve Kiss on Oz - hands down my favorite one. The nervousness, the love, the tenderness. *Sigh* It has everything. Honorable mention to the laundry room kiss, the CLaK kiss, the S5 kiss, and the early S6 kisses. Our boys are sooooooooo good to us.

2. Ross and Rachel's First Kiss on Friends - Before I saw Oz, this was my favorite one. Everything about this works for me. The tension, the history, the fighting, the emotion. Yum. Honorable mention to the kiss after they watched the prom video.

3. Buffy and Spike's First Kiss on Buffy the Vampire Slayer - vampire and slayer, lots of tension, lots of snarking, a moment of tenderness and then the kiss. It worked for me. Honorable mention to the heated kiss that preceded hot sex in ``Smashed.''

4. David and Keith's desperate kiss on Six Feet Under - It happens when they're broken up. David comes to Keith's house wearing his heart on his sleeve. He kisses Keith desperately, hungrily and Keith responds at first. I just love that kiss. I wanted it to go on and on.

5. Michael and Lisa's subway kiss on Now and Again - Michael Wiseman (John Goodman) is dead to everyone who knows him, but the government takes his brain and puts it in a younger, stronger artificial body (Eric Close) and he is sworn to keep it a secret. A year later, he accidentally runs into his widow (Margaret Colin) while pursuing a bad guy. They talk; there's a mutual attraction. He kisses her in the subway - one of those old fashioned, dip her backwards kisses that looks so romantic on screen. The fact that Michael was longing for her from afar for so long really added a nice punch to the kiss.

~*~*~

I meant to post that list yesterday, but I never finished it. I got inspired to write instead. I re-read my recently finished chapter of ``Promise You'' before sending it off to Mav for beta. Then in the afternoon, an idea for another BK fic popped into my head and I just had to write it. It was short, so I got it done pretty quickly. I go for months writing in drips and drabs and then I get all this inspiration and finish three pieces in the span of a week? How does that work? I wish I knew.

2003-02-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

A movie survey! Perfect for me! Gakked from dargie
and Rikki. I love the movies. I've been passionate about the movies as long as I can remember, so this is like the perfect survey for me.

First Movie you ever saw in the theatre: No recollection. :(

Fave movie as a kid: The Sound of Music, I think.

Movie you have seen the most times: That's easy. The Sound of Music. I can't count the times. Every time it's been on t.v. I've watched. I own a tape of it and I have watched that many times as well. Running a close second is Jesus Christ Superstart with Ted Neeley.

Biggest Movie Star crush as a kid: Christopher Plummer

Fave 80's teen Movie: I'm with Rikki on The Breakfast Club. It still makes me get all emotional when I watch it.

Fave song from a movie: ``The Greatest Star'' from Funny Girl. I love to turn the volume up high and sing along to it really loud. I also love ``Let's Hear it For Me'' from Funny Lady. Sense a pattern here? Big show-stopping tunes sung by Babs. Yeah.

Fave Love/Romance Movie: Definitely While You Were Sleeping. I walked all over Chicago looking for filming sites for this film and found quite a few. And I totally fell in love with Bill Pullman when I saw it. Just watched it last night, too. :) I also love When Harry Met Sally, White Palace, The Princess Bride, Casablanca, and Much Ado About Nothing.

Fave Horror Movie: Hmm. Well, that's one genre I try to ignore. I watch them once and that's it. I don't like to be scared just for the sake of being scared. I did enjoy Misery, which turned me into a huge Kathy Bates fan.

Fave Drama: Easy. Sophie's Choice, my first Kevin Kline film. It's also my favorite book. I also love Shot in the Heart, The Color Purple, The Crying Game, To Kill A Mockingbird, and Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet.

Fave Sci Fi movie: I'm partial to Alien Nation with Mandy and James. I also enjoy 2,3,4 and 6 of the Star Trek movies, Independence Day, and The Abyss.

Fave Fantasy movie: Hmm. Don't know if I have one.

Fave Musical Movie: Gotta go back to Jesus Christ Superstar. I get excited about watching it every time. I could sing (not very well) the whole thing from beginning to end without a note of music to cue me. I also love Singing in the Rain and every other Gene Kelly musical. And The Sound of Music, of course.

Fave Comedy Movie: Galaxy Quest, The Wedding Singer, Tin Men, Arsenic and Old Lace and Big Fat Liar (Paul Giamatti is fucking brilliant in this).

Fave Action/Adventure Movie: Die Hard, Out of Sight, Air Force One

Movie that Scared You as a Child: You're Not Alone in the House, I think was the title. It was about a babysitter whose charges were killed and then she grew up and the killer took her children, too.

Movie that makes you cry everytime you see it: The English Patient, when he carries her out of the cave and the music swells, I am gone. G-O-N-E. I also cry when I watch the scene in the chapel in While You Were Sleeping when Lucy tells them all the truth. *sniff*

Worst movie you ever saw: Oooh, hard one. So many bad ones. I'd say it's a toss up between We're No Angels with Sean Penn and Robert DeNiro, which I really wanted to like, and U-Turn. Anaconda also sucked the big one. Jon Voight, who I usually love, totally overacted in that one.

Movie you walked out on in the theatre cause it was so bad: Well, I wanted to walk out of Blue Velvet but I was in the last seat up near a wall and would have had to walk in front of too many people so I suffered it out. I will NEVER, EVER watch that film again.

Most sexual movie you ever saw (non porn): Captives springs to mind.

Most disturbing movie you ever saw: Blue Velvet and The Accused, which was brilliantly done but left me feeling violated after I watched it. I cried while sitting in the movie theater and I don't ever do that. It's another movie I will never watch again.

Movie that supposedly sucks but you love it: The Razor's Edge with Bill Murray. I thought it was well done and enjoyable to watch. Plus, it was my first glimpse of Theresa Russell, a brilliant actress.

Favourite actors: I have 96 on my list, but I won't name them all. *g* Number one is Lee Tergesen. I also love Kevin Kline, Callum Keith Rennie, Richard Schiff, Al Pacino, Antonio Banderas, Kenneth Branagh, Garett Maggart, Nicolas Cage, David Caruso, Robert Downey, Jr., Emilio Estevez, Ralph and Joseph Fiennes, Ed Harris, Samuel L. Jackson, Greg Kinnear, Christopher Meloni, Viggo Mortensen, Gary Oldman, Christopher Plummer, Bill Pullman, Stephen Rea, Alan Rickman, Sam Rockwell, Geoffrey Rush, Gary Sinise, and Steve Zahn.

Fave Actresses: I have 45 on this list. My top faves are Glenn Close, Meryl Streep, Diane Lane, Kathy Bates, Glenne Headly, Jodie Foster, Katherine Hepburn, Linda Hunt, Holly Hunter, Amy Irving, Christine Lahti, Jessica Lange, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Julianne Moore, Natalie Portman, Molly Price, Theresa Russell, Kyra Sedgwick, Madeleine Stowe, Emma Thompson, Sigourney Weaver, and Reese Witherspoon.

Movie you wanted to see the most as a child but were not allowed to: Can't recall.

Sexiest movie star of all time (male): Errol Flynn

Sexiest movie star of all time (female): Diane Lane

Movie that could/might as well been written about your life: Can't think of one that even comes close.

Favourite villain in a movie: Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard

Last movie you saw on TV/rented: Mulholland Drive

Last movie you saw in theatre: LOTR: The Two Towers

Movie that you really, really wanted to mention, but just couldn't find a category for it: Well, there was no Western category and I have a quite a few favorites, starting with the mini-series Lonesome Dove. I also love Silverado and the two Young Guns movies.

2003-02-18T18:59:00.000-05:00

I tried to post something earlier today, but it got lost in cyberspace so I'm going to test this before I write more.

Well, it looks like it's working now.

I went out in the car today for the first time in three days. Had to bring L. to Sylvan. The roads weren't too bad except all the routes had lost a lane to snow pile up. Still, traffic was slow so it was pretty easy getting around, except for turning corners where large piles blocked my vision. Even so, no accidents, so I'm relieved.

It's been a quiet day here overall. The boys spent part of the day outside. M. even ventured into the deep snow across the street to do some sledding. L. spent half the day asking M. to play with him and then asking me to force M. to play with him. Tomorrow, they've canceled school again, so it should be another repeat of that request. Should be fun.

I have spent most of the day reading posts on my lists, checking blogs and getting more depressed about Beecher and Keller. Sad, isn't it? That a t.v. show can have such an effect on my state of mind? Unfortunately, I have always been this way. The first time I felt like this was back in 1974 when they cancelled the Brady Bunch. I was 13 years old and I wept like a baby. It took me months to get over it. But good things often come out of change. I found an ad in Tiger Beat Magazine for a Brady Bunch fan who wanted to continue talking about the show with other fans. So I wrote to her. We still keep in touch and I've been out to her home in Washington state twice. :-)

I just discovered that Haloscan commenting is working again. Yay!

2003-02-18T17:06:00.000-05:00

They announced that school is going to be closed tomorrow again. *sigh* And that means all day long, I'm going to hear this from my six-year-old: ``Mommy, M. won't play with me. Can you make him play with me?'' I heard it at least six times today and at least four times yesterday.

I had to drive today for the first time in four days. The roads are not bad except there is at least one lane covered in snow along all the routes. The corners are also treacherous because it's hard to see over the piled up snow to tell if a car is coming. Fun. I had to drop L. off at Sylvan, which is one of the few places that's not closed today. It was good for the boys to have some time apart. For my sake and for theirs. *g*

This terrible sadness I have over Beecher and Keller will not go away. It's like a cloud hanging over me. I haven't given up on them but I feel sad about the way Tom is ending their storyline. I may try to work on some fanfic today to see if that will perk me up.

2003-02-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

It looks like I won't be able to go to Rami's today. :( Too much snow. Maryland officials have asked people to stay off the roads and P. agrees. The metro is running an hour behind schedule and it would probably take me a half an hour to walk to it through all the snow anyway. *sigh* I was really looking forward to going, too.

~*~*~

As for last night's episode of Oz, I watched eagerly and was actually enjoying it a little as I did. Still, there was an overall feeling of disappointment when it was over. So many inconsistencies. I feel like TF already left Oz behind before he even wrote some of these scripts. It seems to me he was just trying to finish it as quickly as possible so he could move on to other things. Some of the writing has been very good (the O'Reily brothers execution stuff) but overall, it's been badly inconsistent. My list exploded again between last and this morning. I had 75 posts to read today.

I was sad for Beecher and Keller. Keller is no doubt losing his mind and has been for some time. He is desperate to win Toby back and he's lost all perspective on how to do that. A lot of people think Toby doesn't love Keller anymore, or never did. Sorry, but I disagree and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. Toby is still in anger mode. He should be. The fact that Toby has not tried to kill Chris proves to me that he still has feelings for him. Anyone else who'd taken him away from his children and dragged him back to Oz would be dead now. Toby stayed angry at Chris for well over three months over the arm-breaking incident and he stabbed Chris in the back in the copy room. I don't know if Toby would have ever forgiven Chris this time, but I don't think he just shut off his feelings and there's no question that he loved him. He would never have returned to Oz to help Chris - not with all the painful memories there.

Still, I enjoyed watching the fight/torture scene just for the joy of watching Lee and Chris working together. Even angry with each other, they have amazing chemistry. They know each other so well and it shows.

The two things that bothered me the most --

1. Toby ratting Chris out to Vern when Chris killed Winthrop for him. I suppose Toby may have thought Chris killed Winthrop as leverage to set Toby up, but still!

2. Toby and the whole, ``I can still cry'' speech. Ick. I never thought I would ever roll my eyes while watching Lee Tergesen act, but that rang as horribly faked and I hated it. HATED IT! And I hate that Tom Fontana made him do it.

2003-02-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am going to totally steal from my good buddy Mav who made a wonderful list on her blog of the wonders that watching Oz brought her. I actually composed this list in my head after reading Susan's comments about regretting she ever watched Oz. But I didn't think of writing it down here, so I have to give Mav full credit for that and hope she won't mind me being a copy cat. :-)

Things I Would Have Never Discovered Without Oz

1. That Lee Tergesen is one of the most (if not *the* most) talented actors in the universe. Okay, I might have discovered this eventually, but not when I did. I might have figured it out when ``Shot in the Heart'' was broadcast because I know I would have watched that one anyway, but it would have taken me soooo much longer. And I know I would not have met the man as many times as I did or gotten to spend such quality time with him. For that reason alone, I say praise Tom Fontana (and Dori, too). :-)

2. I would not have met the wonderful people on my BK list, whom I consider to be good friends. I especially cannot fathom my life without my friendship with Rami.

3. I never would have discovered slash and all it's wonders. I always enjoyed movies that had gay love stories, but I just never knew there were fandoms and slash until I joined my Oz list. It was a remarkable and life-altering discovery for me. And, without Rami, I would never have discovered the slashy goodness of The Sentinel and Due South.

4. I never would have written so many stories in such a short (for me) period of time. I have always written stories but at a glacial pace. The list siblings spurred me to write more frequently. It was thrilling to know someone was waiting to read more of my writing. It spurred me to write more quickly.

5. I would never have discovered the talents or met the many wonderful actors of Oz, including Dean Winters, muMs, Scott Winters, Kirk Acevedo, etc.

That pretty much covers it for me. I already knew Christopher Meloni before Oz. He was the reason I started watching, so I have to thank him, too. *g*

2003-02-16T14:36:00.000-05:00

I walked to the nearby grocery store today and took more pictures in the ever increasing snow piles.

This is a bench deep in the snow near my house.

My mailbox is covered with snow.

Here's a bush engulfed by snow near the grocery store. Between the snowfall and the plows, it didn't have a chance.

I am enjoying the snow. I am really quite a homebody so I love it when I have an excuse for not leaving the house. I could stay inside all day and not ever be bored. I love, love, love hanging around my house -- playing on my computer, watching t.v., listening to music, reading, writing. Time just flies by for me on days like these.

I finished writing an Oz story today that I began working on a couple of weeks ago. It's a short piece from Toby's POV about what went through his mind when he got arrested. It started forming when I saw the preview of Chris making the phone call to the police and just wouldn't go away until I finished it. It's very sad and very hopeless but I needed to write it. I sent it off to Mav to beta.

2003-02-15T12:51:00.000-05:00

I took some pictures outside today. I love the way the snow looks on the ground and on the trees.

Here are some trees near my house with snow on them.

Here is M. in the snow.

Here is L. eating snow.

2003-02-15T11:21:00.000-05:00

The Friday Five, gakked from dargie:

1. Explain why you started to journal/blog - Well, lots of other on-line buddies were doing it and it looked like fun. Turns out it is. It's a good way to keep in touch with list buddies; especially those who are not so active on the list anymore.

2. Do people you interact with day to day or family members know about your journal/blog? Why or why not? - A few. My my husband is aware of it. He doesn't read it. I have the address for it in all my emails and have specifically pointed out certain entries for friends to read. They seem to read it once and then forget about it. My parents don't go on line, so I never discussed it with them.

3. Do you have a theme for your journal/blog? - Of a sort. I talk about my obsessions in t.v., movies and music. Stuff I love that strikes my fancy.

4. What direction would you like to have your journal/blog go in over the next year? - I haven't really thought about it. Just keep going as it is, I suppose.

5. Pimp five of your favorite journals/blogs. - Well, I read several everyday. My favorites are Rikki's, Dan's, LeahAnne's, dargie's, Susan's, Mav's and Rami's. With the exception of dargie, all of these people need to make MORE FREQUENT entries so I can be entertained every day. *g*

2003-02-14T15:39:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, All!

2003-02-13T16:39:00.000-05:00

All this talk of war and terrorism is really starting to piss me off. I was able to ignore it for a long time by refusing to read the paper and watch the t.v. news. I have enough things to worry about without having to go out and buy reams of plastic sheeting and duct tape. WTF?! Like that's going to do any good.

Hey, here's an idea, Mr. so-called leader of our country. Maybe you should stop threatening war on these guys and maybe, just maybe, they'll stop plotting terrorist actions against us. Maybe you should get your soldiers the fuck out of Saudi Arabia, where you don't belong in the first place. Maybe you should worry more about what's going on here than about what's going on there, you sorry-ass excuse for a leader.

*deep breath* Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest.

We resume our regularly scheduled blog of fun and frivolity.

2003-02-12T10:21:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Mav for reducing the size of my lighthouse picture for me. In case you didn't want to bother linking, here it is:

The Lighthouse at Assateague Island, Va.

Besides the miniatures, I also have lighthouse lamps, a lighthouse painting in my family room, a lighthouse table in my hallway, a cabinet with a lighthouse painted on it, a lighthouse welcome mat, and even my mailing address labels have lighthouses. Guess I'm hooked.

2003-02-11T17:22:00.000-05:00

I bought a lighthouse for my collection today. Oddly enough, it was the only lighthouse they had at this card store I went to and I loved it. That rarely happens. I was going to insert the photo of it into my blog today, but the file is too big. And I have this weird resizing software that can make a picture smaller, but then there's this weird white space around it the same size as the old picture, so what's the freakin' point? I have some kind of software with the camera but P. has not installed it yet. I could probably do it, but I don't want to screw anything up.

So I loaded the photo of the lighthouse to my web page and you can see it here. This is the lighthouse at Assateague Island, Va. I went to the island once when M. was about 4 but I don't remember seeing the lighthouse. I think I may have been on the Maryland end of it, though. They have wild ponies on that island. They just roam around free and people can go right up to them. But there are warning signs that you shouldn't touch them or feed them because they can bite.

Here is my entire mini lighthouse collection. It's fairly new but I am enjoying it. Included amongst these are the lighthouse at Alcatraz, Chicago Harbor, Jupiter, Fla., & Morris Island, S.C. (all of which I've seen up close) as well as Thomas Point, Md., East Quoddy, Canada, South East Block Island, RI, Grand Island, Mich., Craighill, Md., and Jeffrey's Hook, NY.

2003-02-11T07:58:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the ditz in me comes out in full force.

Yesterday, I locked myself out of my house. That is not unusual. I've done it many times before, although not at this house. Considering we've been here 18 months, that's a record for me. At my old house, I locked myself out at least once a month. Luckily, one of my good neighbors had a copy of my key to the old house. No such luck for the new one. So I sat their panicking, wondering what to do. I called P. on both his numbers. I couldn't reach him. Even if I could, it would have taken him at least 45 minutes to get back home, assuming he had nothing better to do than let me back in the house. So I called the locksmith on my cellphone. I am so grateful I have that thing. He got there in about 20 minutes. I waited in my car. Yes, I had my car key because we'd just had it serviced and the key was off my keychain. When I left the house, I left the other keychain with the house key on the counter and went out the back door, which can be locked before you pull it shut. It cost $69 to be let back into my house.

And that isn't even the ditzy part.

I go inside and check my messages. There's one from my sister. I call her back and as I am telling her about being locked out of the house, it suddenly occurs to me that she has a key to my house and she works literally up the street from where I live. Maybe half a mile. I could have walked to her office to get the key. That's how close she works. And I had my car key, so I also could have driven there. So I felt pretty stupid at that moment and she got a big chuckle. The only thing that made me feel better is that when P. finally called me back, he never mentioned my sister having a key, so it didn't occur to him either.

2003-02-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

Gakked from dargie (poor thing):

Which LotR Male are You Compatible with Sexually?
brought to you by Quizilla

Need I say more? I didn't think so. And I only took it once.
*eg*

2003-02-10T09:57:00.000-05:00

So many fans. So many disappointments. I guess I am in the minority because I loved last night's episode - every single minute of it. I even wrote Tom an email telling him so when the episode was over. I was so completely wrapped up in the O'Reily story that I hardly even realized how little Beecher there was. Some people on my list thought Cyril's sentence should have been carried out. I was a little surprised. I felt like the story would have worked either way. It was just beautifully written and acted. Dean Winters truly deserves an Emmy for that performance.

I was pretty sure Cyril was not going to die because of a summary of the episode next week. Still, I was practically holding my breath as they strapped him in the chair. Some believe Cyril is going to die anyway, but now it will be at the hands of another inmate in some violent meaningless way. Well, there certainly is that possibility when we're talking about Tom Fontana. Still, overall, I was really, really pleased with last night's episode. I thought it was the best one so far this season and mainly because of the O'Reily storyline.

As for Beecher-Keller, there wasn't much screen time for them. Beecher knows Keller betrayed him and gave him the brush off. I kind of expected Toby to be a little more angry than he was. I expected yelling and fireworks but instead, his dismissal of Chris was calm and almost cold. Well done on Lee's part. Still, I think Toby is struggling with his feelings for Chris. It thought he was struggling to maintain some kind of control and dignity in the face of Chris' denial. Toby's words cut deep and I think he meant them to. He wants Chris to stay away from him; to think there's no hope for reconciliation. He doesn't want to fall under the Keller spell again. He should know Chris better by now. Chris doesn't give up that easily. Toby has been underestimating him from day one. *sigh* Still, I was very excited about the storyline and where it's going. Good drama! I'm looking forward to next week.

2003-02-09T11:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I ended up walking around the mall for awhile, but didn't find anything there that I wanted to buy, so I headed over to Circuit City and picked up a DVD copy of ``Out of Sight" for $16. It's a wonderful movie. Jennifer and George have really good chemistry in this one. My favorite scene is the one where they flirt in the bar. I love the way Soderbergh filmed it. I don't even know how to describe what exactly he did, but it's worth the watch for this scene alone, even if you don't care for either actor.

I also LOVE Steve Zahn in this one. He steals every scene he's in. This was the second movie I'd seen him in and I kept saying to myself, ``Who is this guy?!'' as I watched. This role really gives him a chance to shine.

Still feeling fairly good today. Not 100 percent, but getting closer.

2003-02-08T10:01:00.000-05:00

Two years ago today, I joined my Oz list that feeds my Beecher-Keller obsession. Happy Anniversary to me. :) Can't begin to tell you how glad I am I did. It was my first mailing list and it's still my favorite. I look forward to reading the posts everyday. Plus, I've met some really, really great people through it, including my dear Rami. A worthy venture indeed. And tonight, the Oz boys are going to be on MTV2 at 7 pm. What a nice anniversary present for me. LOL. Don't forget to tune in!

~*~*~

I think the fog in my brain is starting to lift finally. Yesterday, I was able to get some reading done and I even sent back comments and feedback that I think sounded fairly intelligent. *g* I hope so anyway. Still, I think I'm going to buy something for myself today. A treat. Perhaps a CD or a DVD or maybe a lighthouse to add to my collection. I need a picker upper and I haven't bought anything for myself in awhile (other than that trip to NYC on the 28th. hehe). I wish ``Bark'' was out already. I really, really want to have that. I've been dying to see it since I read all the good reviews about Lee's performance.

~*~*~

I just found out yesterday that one of my favorite singers is coming to the area on March 1st. His name is John Cowan and I haven't seen him perform in over two years. He has a voice that is not to be believed until you hear it. He's a tenor and he can do things with that voice that would make you believe in God. I am not kidding.

I first became a fan in 1989 when he was still with the New Grass Revival. They opened a concert for Nanci Griffith and I really enjoyed their performance. I especially liked John's voice. It's powerful. I mean, really powerful. About 5 years ago, John started his own band and I've been lucky to see them in concert a half dozen times. Then he stopped booking dates in the area. :-( I don't know why. But he's coming back and I'm so excited about it!

Now to convince P. that we HAVE to go. ;)

2003-02-07T10:54:00.000-05:00

Snow day here. Probably for lots of cities along the Eastern Coast. Last night, I stayed up a little later, hoping they would announce so I could turn off my alarm. But at 11:30 pm, the county still hadn't conceded the closing and I had to go to bed. Normally, they would cancel school with even the threat of snow (and last night, there was already at least 3-4 inches on the ground), but they are out of snow days and have to either use a day from spring vacation or add a day on at the end of the year. Both ideas suck, but what can you do? I woke up at 3 am and checked again, but they had stopped showing the list of closings. I woke up again at 5 am (I guess it was on my mind even while I slept) and checked again. Finally got the word, so I turned the alarm off and we all slept until 7:30 am, an hour later than usual than M's wake-up time. L., whom I usually have to drag out of bed at 7:30 am, was all perky and hyper as soon as he opened his eyes. What is it about kids and days off? The days I can sleep in a little, they don't want to. *sigh* It must be one of Murphy's laws.

L. and M. were fairly well behaved until a little after 10 am, when they went screaming through the house at the top of their lungs. I quickly bundled them up and sent them outside.

I am still not feeling fully up to par. My attention span is pretty much nil. I can't read anything longer than two paragraphs. I tried. I can't even watch more than 10 minutes of a t.v. show without my mind wandering. This totally sucks. I have so much I want to be doing. I need to respond to something Riley sent me and I can't concentrate enough to read it in a halfway intelligent manner. I could also be writing, but again, no attention span. This is highly unusual for me and I have no clue what to do about it.

2003-02-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling off kilter the last couple of weeks. It's probably a combination of factors, but I've been sluggish and lacking in energy. I seem to want to sleep all the time. I know it's partly because of my lack of sleep last Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I guess I just don't bounce from that as quickly as I used to. *g* Still, it was very much worth the price. I have also recently completely changed the way I eat and I think my body is going, ``What the fuck? Where's all the junk food and carbohydrates, dude?'' Even so, this tired feeling I have is not a bad tired feeling, if that makes any sense. It's the kind of tired you get after a day at the beach or after a couple of hours of ice skating. I'm dropping into bed and nodding off in about 10 minutes, which is fairly miraculous for me. I usually take a minimum of 30 minutes to get to sleep. It's odd, but kind of nice in a way.

Anyway, I'm really anxious for everything to get back to normal. I'll keep the falling asleep fast thing, but I really want to have more energy during the day.

Yesterday, Rami came over and we watched some Due South eps she has on tape and then we watched one of our favorite shows, West Wing at 9. I really love it that we have so many favorite shows in common. It's fun to share the excitement. P. was out of town, so I had to bring the kids with me when I drove her home. They were wired for sound all night because they got to stay up later. Luckily, they crashed on the way home, but getting them out of bed today was a b-i-t-c-h. Ah well. I had pretty much expected that. Sometimes you've got to pay the piper, as they say. I was pretty tired myself. I totally crashed about 10 minutes after I got home. Stop, drop and snooze. Didn't wake up again until 5:00 am for a trip to the bathroom. Zombie much?

2003-02-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling a tad better today about my son's problems. Between the school, P. and me, and L's pediatrician, we have a plan and I'm feeling optimistic.

~*~*~

I don't feel very chatty today so I'll do this instead:

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.05

1. Do you remember the first LP, 45, CD or CD single that you bought? Recreate the scene for me.

No, but I do remember one a friend bought that had some significance. Back in 1974, when we were both 13, my friend, Patty, bought a 45 of some song but when she got it home and played it, it wasn't the song that was on the label. Instead, it was Barry Manilow's ``Mandy.'' I knew the song, of course, because it was playing on the radio a lot. But Patty didn't really want it, so she gave it to me. This was back when 45s cost 97 cents. With the three percent tax in Vermont, it came up to an even dollar. I played it constantly. Over and over and in the process, became a HUGE Barry Manilow fan. I still am. I still buy all his CDs and I still listen to them occasionally.

2. What was the last CD or song that you actually paid money for?

I believe it was Enrique Iglesias' Escape.

3. It is my personal opinion that "Munchos" and "Funions" are the most perfect snack food ever. What do you think is the best snack food ever?

I'm a chocolate fiend, so I would have to say Kit Kat bars. I would eat those over something salty and crunchy any day of the week. But if HAD to pick a salty, crunchy snack, I would say pita chips. Damn, their addictive.

4. Comedian George Carlin once pointed we consider the things we like to keep around us to be our "stuff," whereas other people's stuff is just junk to us (ok, he used more colorful language, but you get the idea). What "stuff" do you have that someone else might just throw away if they were cleaning out your house?

Oh my, where to begin? All my lists - favorite actors, video tape collection organized by numbers, etc., my older videotapes going back to the mid-80s, magazines, my kids' school projects and papers.

5. Do you think it is wrong for people to rush to e-Bay and start selling Space Shuttle Columbia collectibles?

I'm with dargie
. As long as it's not actual wreckage, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

6. Does it bother you when President Bush speaks about God and invokes scripture quotations from the Bible during his speeches?

It bothers me when President Bush speaks period, so yes.

7. I have a friend who think's she's being photographed in public restrooms. What paranoid delusion do you have?*

That everybody's laughing at me and making fun of me.

Bonus: Can't you feel the weight of my stare?

Madonna, ``Crazy for You.'' I love that song.

2003-02-03T18:28:00.000-05:00

I had a rather upsetting day today. It involves my youngest son, L., and his lack of progress in school, despite a very expensive after-school learning program. The thing that absolutely kills me is that L, age 6, is highly intelligent; nearly a genius. He knows more about history than I ever will. He can explain the causes of the Civil War in excruiting detail. He can recite John Wilkes Booth's escape route and answer questions without missing a beat. He knows the names of ships that were sunk in World World II. He can recite word--for-word dialogue or conversations he's heard weeks later. His vocabulary is that of an 8-and-a-half-year-old, according to testing. But he can't seem to sit down and write a sentence on his own without someone hovering over him. And he can't seem to memorize his math facts.

I feel like screaming and pulling out my hair. But then I take a deep breath and tell myself that things could be worse. If this is the worst thing that happens to my child while he's growing up, I will be a truly grateful parent. My older son, M., went through a similar crisis, although not until second grade. He was diagnosed with ADD. Now I have to deal with the possibility that L. might have it, too. I know it won't be easy but at least I know that there's something that can be done. It can be controlled. M. has to take medication but he's flourishing in school now. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know this. I just hoped I wouldn't have to go down the damn tunnel again.

2003-02-02T10:03:00.000-05:00

I am such a fan girl. And what a week I'm having. On Tuesday, I got to see Lee Tergesen and last night, I got to see Buskin and Batteau perform together for the first time in over 13 years. I mentioned B&B for the first time in my Dec. 17th post. They are my favorite singing act ever, bar none. When they broke up back in late 1989, I was heartbroken. Literally. I always wanted, but never really imagined, that they would get back together. So when they did, no one - NO ONE - was happier than me.

See how happy I am?

On the way to the Birchmere in Virginia last night, I went through all the usual nervous shit I always do when I go see someone I really admire. Up until last night, I had more or less put the whole thing out of my mind in the post-Lee euphoria (that man has amazing powers over me). So when I realized we were going, I went through my whole pre-show jitters and got them all finished in just a few hours. Much better that way. LOL.

We arrived at the Birchmere and I went to the dressing rooms to greet Robin and David. It was so good to see them in the same room again. Robin was entertaining some people, so I sat and chatted with David for a few minutes. He sounded a little pessimistic about the quality of the upcoming performance because they hadn't performed together in so long. ``We can't hit the high notes anymore,'' he said. He needn't have worried. The show was fantastic. Even P. thought so and he's much more critical than I am. After Robin's guests left, I spoke with him for a few minutes, too. He invited P. and I to come backstage after the show.

The room was packed and they performed all my favorites. They opened the show with ``Motorcycle,'' which was a nice treat. There's no recording of that song and I hadn't heard it in a long time. They also sang ``He used to Treat Her/Treat Me Right, Treat Me Wrong,'' which is one of my most favorite songs of theirs. I had only heard them perform it once before, way back in 1984.

They really hit their stride with ``Eyes of My Beholder,'' a song Robin wrote in 1985 about Arthur and Guinevere. Their performance of the song was flawless. Their chemistry was back in full force and the audience could feel it. The joking around between songs was great, too. Robin was having so much fun up there and it was good to see that. He has not performed very much since they broke up. He doesn't seem to like performing alone very much. David, on the other hand, never stopped.

They both sang one new song each. David sang a song I think I've heard him perform solo once before and Robin sang a song so knew he had two volunteers (two young girls) from the audience hold up the lyric sheet for him. There were lots of jokes about them getting old and forgetting things.

``The Boy With the Violin,'' which has always been their show closer, was another flawless piece. They've performed it so many times, I imagine they could do it in their sleep. I think I've seen them perform it at least 50 times myself. I used to keep a list of all the times I saw them perform, but I lost it after they broke up.

The audience gave them a standing ovation and they came back out to do ``ESPN,'' ``Lancelot's Tune (Guinevere)," and ``Take This Heart.'' I was grinning from ear to ear the whole night. After the show, we went back stage to tell them how wonderful they were and take pictures. Now, I need to go send them emails and tell them again.

2003-01-31T11:39:00.000-05:00

I just found out that Kevin Kline is going to be on Capitol Hill next week. I am seriously thinking about going downtown to see him. I've never met him but I've always wanted to. The closest I've ever gotten is to watch him in several stage productions. I've admired him for so long and he's coming here. The only obstacle is the kids will be getting out of school before I could get back. So I'd have to bring them with me. And, of course, I'm still in my post-Lee euphoria so I'm not as excited about Kevin as I normally would be. What to do? What to do? Guess I'll have to ponder this one.

2003-01-30T07:58:00.000-05:00

How happy is this woman?

Thank you, Susan. I am indebted to you.

2003-01-29T19:50:00.000-05:00

Such a day of conflicting emotions. I was still on a high from last night in New York when I read all the posts about Oz and the Beecher-Keller storyline. Happy with Lee. Angry at Toby. LOL.

I really, really, really wanted Chris to be wrong about Toby in love. You can't imagine how much. I wanted this break up to be all Chris' fault and I should have known better, really. Why do I want to wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to Toby? I think because he reminds me so much of myself and I like to think I've grown, so I keep hoping he will. When he slips back to his old ways, it makes me wonder if I haven't come as far as I think I have. Nobody's perfect, I know. And we all make mistakes over and over again. It makes us human, but Toby's mistakes are always HUGE and life-altering. *sigh* This show makes me think too much.

Again, I cannot blame Tom Fontana here. He created Toby and he certainly has kept him true to character. But shouldn't characters, like real people, grow and learn and change even when they're in prison? Apparently not in Tom's world of fiction. I see absolutely no hope for Beecher and Keller at this point and that makes me sad. There is just no way for Toby to forgive Chris in this situation and I really wouldn't want him to. Keller has effectively assured that Beecher will never raise his own children. They will both be grown by the time he gets out of prison now and they'll be as damaged as Toby is because the same self-centered mother who raised Toby is raising them. Unless Harry goes back to Gen's parents. Then there might be some hope for him. Yes, I realize I am talking about fictional characters. But Tom has gotten me really wrapped up in their lives. I want there to be at least be hope for them all when this show ends.

2003-01-27T13:43:00.000-05:00

Fucking Oz, man. Damn.

How do I get so wrapped up in a television show that it causes me to toss and turn in my sleep? This is the third time Tom Fontana has kept me up over this show. I need to stop watching his shows. I am not going to talk about how upset the Beecher-Keller storyline made me because I already ranted about it on my Lee blog.

I will say that Winthrop followed Keller into the supply closet just a little too eagerly. What the hell was up with that? Even if he didn't know Keller's reputation as a jealous killer, what about all Winthrop's efforts to get out of pragdom?! He got down on his knees so fast in front of Keller than my eyes were bleeding. It just wasn't remotely believable. I know Keller is sexy, but please. Enough said.

I loved, loved, loved the Robson storyline last night. R.E. Rodgers gave a hell of a performance. Even so, it didn't really make sense. He became a prag voluntarily for protection, so why the hell does he want to kill his protector? And why would the Italians be encouraging him to off Wolfgang? Why would they want to protect Robson? It made no sense. Still, I loved the scene between Robson and the Wolfgang. I thought it was kind of hot in a sick kind of way. LOL.

I don't care for the Rebadow-librarian storyline. Tom has wasted Rebadow for the last two seasons and he started out as a really interesting character. I was a bit surprised when he turned from the librarian when she confessed her illness to him. I know he probably still has some unresolved feelings about his grandson's death, but this woman just opened herself up to him and he spurned her. It was very cold of him and he is not usually that way. It disappointed me.

Suzanne's ex-lover looked familiar but I couldn't place him. I thought it was a little odd that he would treat Ryan with disdain for being white and then turn around and act very warmly to Suzanne. I guess we'll learn more in the weeks to come.

*deep breath* Okay, enough of thinking about Oz. Time to focus on tomorrow! :-)

2003-01-26T09:58:00.000-05:00

I guess I got behind yesterday on my blogging. I didn't really go anywhere, but I didn't feel that well either. I've had a cold for a few days but yesterday, I felt light-headed and achy. I really hope I'm not getting the flu. I would go to New York on Tuesday anyway, but it wouldn't be as much fun. Some of the twisted sibs are already in New York, gathering together and having fun. They're going to watch Oz together tonight. Wish I could be there. I will be in spirit. *g*

I was able to make an entry on my fanfics blog, which I had been working on for several days. It was rather long. But it's done. Something accomplished. I didn't write any fic yesterday. I just didn't have the energy or a properly functioning brain.

2003-01-24T20:02:00.000-05:00

The Friday Five gakked from Rowan F and Susan:

1. What is one thing you don't like about your body?

I carry too much weight.

2. What are two things you love about your body?

My hands and my face.

3. What are three things you want to change about your home?

- More shelves in the library
- a bigger finished area in the basement for my Oz memorabilia
- the layout of the family/living room

4. What are four books you want to read this year?

Not a clue. I don't plan what I want to read. I just buy books that grab my attention.

5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?

- kept up going to the gym for over 2 years now
- to write more
- to meet Lee Tergesen :)
- to organize my photos
- to do more things that make me happy

2003-01-24T16:36:00.000-05:00

Another busy day yesterday and I got some writing done. About 700 words. At one point, I got stuck on a plot point. I thought about it for awhile and couldn't come to any good resolution, so I skipped over it and moved on to the next scene. I often do that. I did it a lot when I was writing the novel for nanowrimo. It was the only way I could meet my daily word counts.

~*~*~

I'm a scatterbrained woman. I know this. I have known this for years. It's just part of who I am. I forget some things that are pretty important and remember seemlingly inane things. Rami can tell you I'm not exaggerating here. I do it all the time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm having serious memory loss problems, but this goes back as long as I can remember. *snort* Seriously, even when I was a teenager.

Yesterday was my parents' 43rd wedding anniversary. I completely forget. Not woke up and said ``Oops.'' Just forgot all together. I wrote the date down several times yesterday and still no bells rang. I even called my parents last night while they were out celebrating their anniversary (!) and left a message completely oblivious to the importance of the date. My Mom called back later and casually mentioned it. I was aghast. Horrified.

Yes, I have forgotten it before, but not so thoroughly as I did this year. Usually, I am at least aware that it's coming soon. Not this time. Totally oblivious. I apologized for forgetting and promised to get a card. (I did get one today.) But I felt really, really guilty. I don't know what it is that makes me forget things like this. I think I sometimes get so absorbed in whatever I'm into (Oz at the moment), that everything else goes by the wayside.

When I make appointments, I write them down in two places. Even then, I sometimes forget to go to them. Last week, I called my son's pediatrician for a refill on his meds. A few days later, I brought my son in for something completely unrelated. The prescriptions were there and I completely forgot to ask for them. It didn't even cross my mind! *sigh* Why does my brain do these things? How do I fix it?

2003-01-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a really good, busy, productive day. At the end of the day, I felt really good. I love days like that. In the morning (after getting kids off to school), I ran two errands and then went to the gym. When I got home, I did some writing in ``Promise You,'' went to pick up the kids, did some more writing, cleaned up the kitchen, made dinner, did some more writing. I wrote 850 words and am almost finished with the chapter.

What I can't figure out is how I did it. LOL. There are some days when I don't leave the house and I can't get that much writing accomplished. It's weird. Maybe it has something to do with knowing I have all this time to write, so I keep putting it off til later. But on days where I'm running around, I know time is scarce so I get right to it. That makes sense, right? Anyway, I guess I need to have more busy days, I guess.

~*~*~

This morning I went to my blog to find my counters not working. So I went to the website to discover that a new company had taken over and wanted everyone to re-register. I took the opportunity to change over to site meter, thanks to advice from Leahanne and dargie. It gives you all kinds of data about visits to your blog. Fun and addictive, just as Leahanne said it would be. LOL. A new toy for Anne. :)

2003-01-22T15:33:00.000-05:00

I was chatting on the IM with dargie today about theater and this really good memory popped in my head and I wanted to share it.

As many of you know, I am a Kevin Kline fan. Have been since 1983 when I first saw ``Sophie's Choice.'' The first year I lived in New York City (1984), Kevin played Henry V at the Delacorte Theatre in Central Park. I went to see it three times. The second time I saw it, there were clouds over head, threatening to cancel the outdoor production. Sure enough, about 45 minutes into the show, the rains fell and the show was put on hold. About a third of the audience cleared out. Luckily, I had worn my rain poncho, so I was fully prepared to tough it out for awhile. The downpour stopped after about 15 to 20 minutes.

The stagehands came out to squeegie down the stage but it started raining again before they finished. Another 20 minutes passed and by now another third of the audience had left. A small group of faithfuls were left and we were allowed to move closer to the stage. By the time they resumed production, it had been a little over an hour since it had stopped.

Kevin came back out on stage and his first line was ``Now sits the wind fair and we will aboard.'' The line was only too fitting and Kevin played it up big. The audience responded with enthusiastic cheering and applause. The players were only able to perform another half or so before another downfall cancelled the rest of the show, but that moment when Kevin connected with us was magical and completely worth the wait in the rain. I will always remember it.

2003-01-22T08:15:00.000-05:00

Been feeling good these last few days. I think I've been too busy to worry about the trip. Busy is good. Miraculously, I managed to find time yesterday to work on the next chapter of Promise You. I wrote about 600 words in between running children around to school and doctors and after school programs. Yay me. *g* Days like that feel really good. Of course, my blogs get ignored, but something's got to give, right?

I'm really enjoying the high volume of activity on my Oz lists. There are lots of spoilers and lots of speculation. I love spoilers. Knowing what's going to happen, does not ``spoil'' viewing for me. I like being prepared. With Oz, I think one needs it. I do, anyway. I was glad I knew about Harrison Beecher's death and Said's, as well, before I saw them. I really didn't need to be shocked like that. It just doesn't sit well with me. It makes me feel resentful and I get upset, like I did when Gary died. I think there's enough stress in everyday life that we don't need to add any from watching television. LOL.

Well, I'm off to start another busy day.

2003-01-21T08:25:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy couple of days. Sunday, we had several relatives and friends over. It was nice to have a house full of people talking and eating, but it did prevent me from watching Oz until after everyone had either left and/or gone to sleep. Still, it was fun. We had planned to have P's cousin and his wife over since Christmas. And I wanted to have my friend (and former co-worker) Joanne and her family come as well. So we decided to invite them both. Then a few days after we called them, P.'s niece called to tell us she and her family were going to be driving back from Florida on the 19th and wanted to stop for a visit. She had her husband, two sons and her Mom (P.'s sister) traveling with her.

P. served Timpano, an Italian dish we first saw in the movie ``The Big Night.'' When we saw the movie, I asked P. if he'd ever made that. He said that he'd heard of it but no one in his family had ever made it. So he went hunting for a recipe on line and found one. He made his first one four years ago at Thanksgiving and it's been a holiday tradition ever since. Timpano means drum in Italian. This drum is filled with pasta, meatballs, chicken, peas, cheese, tomato sauce and sometimes pork. The ``drum'' part is a flaky crust that is slightly sweet and has a texture similar to pie crust. It's so incredibly delicious. P.'s niece, who lives in Rhode Island, had never had it, so it was quite a treat.

We all sat around and talked and ate some more until 10 pm or so. Great evening.

Yesterday, after saying goodbye to the overnight guests, I had to bring the kids to the dentist in the morning. Then we spent the afternoon in Baltimore visiting the Maryland Science Museum. Both my boys love going here. It's the only museum I've ever been a member of. When we arrived in Baltimore, we parked in a garage on Lee Street, which I had to point out, of course. Later, when we had dinner at Paolo's on the waterfront, my oldest son pointed out Lee's Ice Cream as we walked by. Yes, I have them trained well.

When I got home last night, I edited my Oz story thanks to the great beta jobs by both Dan and Mav and then posted it on my list. I was totally ready to go to sleep by then and I slept pretty well, too.

2003-01-19T10:57:00.000-05:00

I finally finished writing an Oz story I'd been working on for a bit. Not consistently, but off and on. It's off for beta now and I feel like I have accomplished something. *deep breath*

The story is number 3 in the Experiment series. I hadn't meant for it to become a series but sometimes these things have a mind of their own. Or perhaps it's the readers who lead you there. When I wrote the first one, it was supposed to be an experiment for me, thus the rather silly title. When I started it, I had recently seen my first gay porn video and started this discussion on my Oz list about why the guys in these movies always pull out before coming. I didn't get it. Now, I'd seen it done in straight porn and didn't really understand it there either. I guess I can understand gay men wanting to see the ``money shot,'' as they call it, but straight guys? What is up with that?

Anyway, I got some interesting comments from the charming gay men on my list and decided to try my hand at writing a story with the money shot. Funny thing is, when I finished it, I didn't even really like it. I thought it seemed kind of silly but several people disagreed with me. And they weren't all gay men, either. So, naturally, I was convinced that I needed to write more. Hell, if people want to read it and I am able to write it, what the hell? And the money shot has grown on me a bit since then, too. *g*

2003-01-18T07:48:00.000-05:00

L&O: SVU was a nice suprise last night. I watch the show because of my loyalty to Chris Meloni but I generally don't think of it as a good show. On average, it is a mediocre show.

But last night! Wow. Last night was great. Especially for Meloni who got a chance to really show off his talent. How adorable was Elliot when he put those glasses on and played the part of the serious and slightly naive businessman? Very, very adorable. The mannerisms, the glasses, the way he carried himself; he changed everything about Elliot. I was just wowed. I kept remarking to P. how much I was enjoying the episode and how great I thought Meloni was.

It must have carried over into my sleep because I dreamt of Meloni. First time in a loooooooong time. And it was a fun dream. Actually Lee was in the dream, too, but Chris was most definitely the star of this particular dream. I was on my bed. Lee was lying next to me. I didn't see his face. I just knew it was him. Chris lay across the bottom of the bed parallel to my feet and he was completely, gloriously nude. Not one stitch of clothing on him. He was grinning, of course, and he was uh, well, excited. He was totally uninhibited and very flirtatious. At one point, he sort of crawled over my legs and gave me this sexy-as-hell leer. *fans self* It was a good dream. Yesiree.

2003-01-16T13:34:00.000-05:00

I love my sister but sometimes she pisses me off.

She stops by last night so we can all go out to eat at her favorite restaurant -- BD's Mongolian Barbeque. When she arrives, I'm watching Lee's final scene in L&O:CI for about the 10th time and I say, ``Come sit. Watch. Lee's on. He's so good.'' So she sits, but she's itchy and gets up a minute later to get a drink. Comes back. I urge her to watch again and see the brilliance of Lee.

She asks, ``Doesn't he play a gay character on Oz?'' So, she has been listening. I nod and ask if she'd like to see one of the kissing scenes. Now, I know she has no interest in gay love stories, so I'm just teasing her. But then she says something that kind of pisses me off. ``No, I don't want B. watching that,'' she says, referring to her 10-year-old son. Mind you, she has let this child watch every ``R'' rated movie that's come out over the last five years. No, I am not kidding. She lets him listen to graphic rap music, complete with swearing and violence and degredation of women. But she can't let him see men kissing in love and affection.

I say, ``They're not having sex. They're just kissing.''

And then she says, ``It's not natural.''

Well, you know my back just went up and apparently she must have heard it in my tone. I say, ``It is to them.''

She backs right down and says, ``I know that. I don't have anything against gay people. I just don't want to see what goes on between them.''

Fine. She should have just said that to begin with and not dragged B. into it. Then, she asks me, ``Do you let your kids watch it?''
Not entire episodes and certainly not violent parts, but they have seen Beecher-Keller kissing scenes on my computer and I tell her so. I tell her I think it's important for children to see that gay relationships are just as loving and acceptable and normal as heterosexual ones are.

Then I ask her, ``It's okay for your son to see explicit R-rated sex scenes between men and women but not a loving kiss between two men?'' She backpedals a little and starts talking about someone at her work who is very homophobic and teaches his kids that homosexuality is wrong. I think she's trying to point out that she's oh so much better than that guy and I'm not so sure about that. If she is sending the message to her son that gay love and gay sex is disgusting and unnatural, how is that better?

2003-01-15T13:43:00.000-05:00

Wow, found something I actually *want* to write about it. It's a miracle.

From Dargie who got it from Rami:

Where were you:

1. When John F. Kennedy was shot (11/22/1963)

I was at home with my Mom walking around in diapers most likely. I was 2 and a half years old.

2. When Mt. St. Helens blew (5/18/1980)

I do recall this vaguely. I was finishing up my first year of college but don't remember the exact place or circumstances.

3. When the space shuttle Challenger exploded (1/28/1986)

This I vividly recall. I was working at Brooklyn Paper Publications in Brooklyn, NY and we were all sitting in the owner's office watching the shuttle launch. Not sure why we gathered, but we did, so I saw it happen live and was pretty horrified and shocked. I kept hoping there was some sort of mistake or possibly escape pods. I wanted it not to be real.

4. When the 7.1 earthquake hit San Francisco (10/17/1989)

I think I was at work in D.C. and heard about it through others. Didn't really see any footage until later in the day.

5. When the Berlin Wall fell (11/7/1989)

Again, probably at work in D.C. Saw the footage later.

6. When the Gulf War began (1/16/1991)

I was pregnant with my first child and not too happy about the developments. I tended to ignore news about the whole thing and cursed Bush every chance I got.

7. When OJ Simpson was chased in his White Bronco (6/17/1994)

Hmm. Not sure. I do remember seeing some footage and changing the channel. Totally uninterested.

8. When the building in Oklahoma City was bombed (4/19/1995)

Well, I had stopped working and was staying home with my son. I probably didn't catch this right away because I don't generally watch the news during the day.

9. When Princess Di was killed (8/31/1997)

I was in San Francisco with P. and my two kids. We were on vacation and it was our last day there. I remember crying for her sons when I heard the news.

10. When Bush was first announced President (11/7/2000)

Why would I want to remember that? Eww

11. When the 6.8 earthquake hit Nisqually, WA (2/28/2001)

No idea.

12. When terrorists knocked over the World Trade Center (9/11/2001)

Another vivid recollection. It was just past 9 am and I was driving my children to school. We had just moved into our new home four days before, so this was a new school for them. Usually, I listen to my music tapes in the car and I actually had one in that day. When we got to the red light and I was about to turn right onto the street, my hand accidentally hit something on the tape player and suddenly the radio was on. The strange thing was, you have to pop the tape out for the radio to play. Always. Always. This time, the tape stayed in and the radio played anyways. It was as if some force was making sure I got the news. I heard about the second airplane hitting as it happened.

After I dropped the kids off, I went home and got on the internet. We didn't even have cable or any t.v. reception of any kind yet. All my news came from the radio and internet. P. came home early and brought an antennae. I saw my first moving images of the disaster around 6 pm that evening.

2003-01-15T08:24:00.000-05:00

I opened my blog three times yesterday with the expectation that I would actually write and post an entry. Every idea that popped into my head was dismissed. I just could not think of a single thing I wanted to write about. That's pretty unusual.

At first, I was going to write about Maurice Gibb and how sad I was to hear about his death. But then, I couldn't think of anything to else to say. I loved the Bee Gees but I wasn't a huge fan. I have a couple of albums and that's about it.

Then, I was going to talk about this discussion on my Oz list about whether or not one should feel sorry for Robson. But the whole thing got overheated on the list and I totally lost interest in the debate. The I-don't-feel-sorry-for-this-monster posters seemed to think that by sheer volume of posts, they were going to change the minds of those who did feel sympathy for him. Ah well.

Then I was going to talk about Lee, but figured I'd done enough of that on my Lee blog.

Then I was going to talk about some new fanfic I'd read, but again, I have another blog for that. Perhaps I have too many blogs? *g*

I meant to spend part of the day writing fiction, but that never came about either. Instead I was running around doing errands and carting children from here to there. Guess it was just a bad day all in all.

2003-01-12T18:49:00.000-05:00

I was watching ``The Pallbearer'' last night on t.v. and heard this great song. I'd seen the movie before but never noticed this song. It came toward the end when David Schwimmer's character was at his friend's wedding and Gwyneth walks in. It's a Sheryl Crow song, I later learned from watching the credits. I don't think I've ever heard her stuff before. At least not consciously. As I listened to the lyrics, they made me think of Beecher and Keller. Specifically, it made me think of Chris and how he feels about Toby.

"I Shall Believe"
by Sheryl Crow

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe

2003-01-12T11:40:00.000-05:00

My sons do not accept compliments graciously. In fact, they are downright rude about it. Is this true of girls as well? I don't remember how I reacted to compliments as a child.

If I tell my six-year-old, he's handsome or smart, he growls and hits me. Hits me! Like I've insulted him or something. Aren't parents supposed to compliment their children? Show their pride and all that? When I compliment my 11-year-old on a good grade or some accomplishment, he makes a weird noise and rolls his eyes. Is this because they're embarrassed? I think my older son does like hearing that he's smart (but NOT that he's handsome), but doesn't want anyone to *know* he likes it. He gets this little grin on his face. I see it everytime. He can't hide it from me. I think the little one just wants to imitate his older brother. He didn't growl or hit me until he was around 5. He used to just smile when I complimented him. Or ignore me.

P. says I sometimes go overboard when I compliment. That I don't know when to stop. That I go on and on. That could be true. Maybe I need to temper my compliments, but I certainly don't want to stop giving them. Any parents out there with thoughts? Ideas?

2003-01-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

No, I am not going to ramble on and on about how good Lee was on ``Queen's Supreme.'' I already did that on my Lee blog.

Instead, I'm going to talk about Kirk Acevedo. I was watching my Oz S2 DVD this morning and FFing to find Beecher scenes when I came across Alvarez talking to his father in the hospital. It was a touching scene, even though the father didn't say a word in response to his son's dilemma. Alvarez was so tormented over what he was told to do and I really enjoyed watching Acevedo play it out. And that scene in Fr. Mukada's office after the stabbing? How wonderful was that? His poor tortured soul. It was riveting to watch.

I started watching Oz in Season 4, so I didn't get to see all the juicy Alvarez stuff right away. Miguel was pretty boring throughout Season 4 because the actor was away a lot filming t.v. shows and movies. So I didn't even get remotely attached to him until I saw some old tapes of the early seasons. And, of course, Alvarez came back really strongly in Season 5 with the dog training story line. I really loved that. That moment when he offered his dog to the man who's eyes he had gouged, was very touching and pure genius.

During his downtime from Oz, Kirk appeared on a two-part episode of ``Third Watch,'' which is one of my favorite shows. He played the childhood friend of Bobby Caffee (Bobby Cannevale), one of the Third Watch paramedics. I adored Bobby. He was my favorite character at the time. Kirk's character, Paulie Fuentes, was hooked on drugs. Bobby was asked to intervene. Poor Bobby had already tried to help his poor, crime-addicted brother (played by Jon Seda, another Oz alumnus). Everyone relied on Bobby. He was the steady guy. So when Paulie robbed his mom's house to buy drugs, Bobby went after him to help. He found Paulie in an abandoned house, doing drugs. There was a confrontation. Bobby flushed Paulie's drugs down the toilet. Bad move. Paulie was still in withdrawal and he had a gun. He shot Bobby right in the heart. I was aghast. I had no idea this was going to happen. And I had no idea that Cannevale was planning on leaving the show. Bobby died and I bore a grudge against Kirk for several months over it. *eg*

When I met him the first time at the S1 DVD signing, I didn't speak other than to say ``Hi.'' The only thought in my head was, ``You killed Bobby!'' But I certainly didn't want to say that. When I saw him again in December after his Jack London performance, I was a little more coherent, but I still couldn't stop thinking about ``Third Watch.'' So I told him he was great on the show but I was really mad at him for killing Bobby. He laughed. He probably thought I was a little wacky.

2003-01-10T18:51:00.000-05:00

Tonight begins an all-Lee weekend. Tonight at 10 pm, we have Queens Supreme. Sunday, we have a new episode of Oz and his guest role on L&O:CI. Plus, I have my Oz Season 2 DVDs to peruse through. Yay! What more could a woman ask for?

Strangely, I am feeling that giddy feeling that usually follows a trip to see Lee. I think I am living vicariously through others who saw him at the signing. I just want to read about Lee, Lee, Lee and nothing else. I get excited about checking my email to see if there is more discussion about the signing and Lee. This is so much fun. And I didn't even have to make the trip or wait in the cold to get this high! How fucking wild is that?

2003-01-10T08:23:00.000-05:00

Last night, I watched my usual Thursday night line up on NBC - four comedies and a drama. It's a fun night of t.v. and I end up laughing a lot, but I prefer drama over comedies. I have for as long as I can remember. I could be completely enamored of a comedy and watch it religiously every week, but if they move it opposite one of my dramas, that's it. The comedy is gone. It happened with ``Everybody Loves Raymond,'' which I watched religiously for it's first three years. Then they moved it opposite of ``Third Watch.'' Ray's gotta go. Sorry. P. was really surprised because I had been singing Ray's praises for years. And he really likes it. So, if he's home, I'll flip back and forth until Ray is over.

There's something about a drama that stays with me after its over. With comedies, I laugh in the moment, but an hour later, I can't remember even one of the jokes. I also like the continuing storylines on dramas that aren't really a big part of comedies. The first and only edict of a comedy is to make you laugh. If they can include some previous history in there, okay. If not, it's forgotten. Dramas are much better at drawing out storylines over several episodes or returning to a story several months down the road.

I'm pretty loyal to dramas. I'll stick with them until the bitter end, unless they take the show in a direction I don't want to go. Or the writing really goes downhill. In the last 10 years, I can only think of one drama I stopped watching because I didn't like the way it was going -- NYPD Blue. (I stopped watching three others because of conflicting schedules.) I'd been a devoted Blue fan since episode one and I first started to feel detached when they tortured viewers with a five-hour death march for Det. Bobby Simone (Jimmy Smits). I absolutely hated it. It was horrible and painful and not something I want to ever remember. It was NOT good television. I don't care what anybody says.

But they really jumped the shark when they started hinting at a romance between Det. Andy Sipowicz (Dennis Franz) and Det. Connie McDowall (Charlotte Ross), who is 24 years younger than he is. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm pretty open minded in the romance department. People fall in love with who they fall in love with. But this just didn't feel right and it didn't look right to me. It seemed forced and it just squicked me. When I saw them moving in for the first kiss, I turned it off and never turned it back on.

I thought Andy's romance with DA Sylvia Costas (Sharon Lawrence) was great. They had perfect chemistry. I even loved it when he started dating his ex-wife (Deborah Monk). And while the age difference between Franz and Ross bothers me a little, I could have lived with it if they two shared any kind of romantic chemistry. They don't. *shivers* Yuck. So, that was it for me.

Last night, I watched a fairly good episode of ``ER,'' another show I've been dedicated to since the beginning. Contrary to what critics are saying, I think ER has gotten better over the last year and a half. It slipped during year 7, but I think it has snapped back. In last night's episode, Dr. Lewis (Sherry Stringfield) treated a depressed man who admitted he was a pedophile. The character was completely despicable but the actor who portrayed him did a phenomenal job. He looked familiar to me, too, but I can't remember from what. The NBC ER homepage lists him as Rob Moore, but when I looked him up on IMDB.com, there were two actors with that name and neither of them had been in anything I'd seen before. I'll figure it out, though, even if it takes me awhile.

2003-01-08T17:04:00.000-05:00

I thought I was going to be jealous of my Oz sibs going to the DVD signing, but I'm just enjoying the reports that are trickling in. And I'm so excited for everyone who got to see Lee and Chris and the others. It's so much fun to share the excitment with everyone. The posts are coming in one after another on the list and it's so much fun to read and respond to them. The first pics from the evening were posted by Linny and everyone looks great. Lee with his new beard. I love it.

Last year, I bought some professionally done photos from the signing and the photographer must have kept my email because he wrote letting me know he'd have more for sale by tomorrow! Yay!

And somehow, amidst all this excitement, I managed to write 500 words in an Oz story. That's right, Susan, it's all Oz today!

2003-01-07T17:18:00.000-05:00

I heard Harry Chapin's ``Cats in the Cradle'' this morning on the radio and it made me smile. It's not often one hears a Harry Chapin song on the radio. Harry holds a special place in my heart because if it wasn't for him, I never would have met my husband, P.

Back in 1981, when I was home from college, Harry came to my hometown of Rutland, Vt., to put on a concert. My Dad, who was president of the local Kiwanis Club, got to meet Harry through the club, which was sponsoring the benefit concert. When my Dad told me about the show, I mentioned that Harry had recently been in Toledo, Ohio, about an hour from where I was attending college, but I didn't get a chance to go to the show. My Dad promised that I would get to meet Harry after the show was over at a party in his honor. I was not, at this point, a huge Harry Chapin fan. I liked his music, but I didn't own much of it.

So I went to the show and my Dad introduced me to him. He my first celebrity -- ever and he was so sweet. He asked me some questions about school and stuff. I don't remember the details but I was incredibly happy. My Dad said he'd told Harry that I *had* gone to the Toledo show and I was a tad embarrassed when Harry came up to me just before he left and said, ``It was nice meeting you. Hope to see you again. Maybe in Toledo.'' LOL. It's a nice memory. I never saw Harry again because he died seven months later. I remember crying when I heard the news on the radio that hot July afternoon.

Fast forward to 1984. I was living in New York City and I saw an ad in the paper for a Harry Chapin Memorial Concert that was going to be held at the Bottom Line on the anniversary of his death. I went and had a blast. Harry's brother, Tom, sang some of Harry's songs and then told the audience about an organization that Harry had co-founded a few years earlier called World Hunger Year. It was a non-profit group dedicated to educating people about hunger in the world. I listened with interest and a couple of weeks after the show, I called WHY and offered to volunteer. I went once a week on my day off and spent the whole day in the WHY offices and got to know lots of great people, including David Buskin and Robin Batteau. At the time, P. was working for WHY in Washington, D.C., doing lobbying on their behalf. I met him when he came up to New York for a benefit in June 1985 and it was pretty much love at first sight. He was even shyer than I was, though, so we didn't talk much.

A few months later, in November, P. returned to New York for another WHY benefit - a Radiothon. I discovered he was going to be manning some of the phones. After covering a meeting for the Brooklyn Paper, where I was working at the time, I headed back to the phone banks. It was almost 11 pm when I arrived. P. was there and I decided to be brave and went back to sit near him and we ended up talking and flirting all night long. I will never forget it as long as I live.

I saw P. again in January 1986 when I went to Washington, D.C., to visit a college friend. I wrote to him to let him know I was coming. We all went to a concert together, where Buskin and Batteau were performing. At the party afterwards, we shared our first kiss. Exactly six weeks later, I moved to D.C. and the rest, as they say, is history.

2003-01-06T19:45:00.000-05:00

I've been forgetting to mention that I've been writing. Not everyday. And not as much as I had planned, but I am doing it. If I put it down here and see it when I check my blog, then that will remind me and inspire me to do it again. Does that make sense? Well, it works for me.

On the 5th, I wrote 800 words, yesterday I wrote 200 words and today I wrote 500 words. Mostly in Oz fic, but not all. Don't even go there, Susan. Writing is good no matter which fandom.

I am still waiting to hear back from the copyright office. Supposedly they send you some kind of document acknowledging your copyright. My nanowrimo novel is the first thing I've even sent out for a copyright, so I'm kind of excited to get the document. I did mail it late in December and with all the holiday crap going on, I don't have a clue how much longer it will take. Once it's here, though, I will start posting some of it on my website for anyone who might want to read it.

2003-01-06T08:59:00.000-05:00

Dori posted a challenge.

``Augustus tells us: "People are defined by three things. Their heads: how they think. Their hearts: what they feel. Their dicks: who they fuck. At the end of the day, each of us has to answer one question. One not-so-simple question. Who am I? "

So.... who are YOU?''

How I think -- Wow, I barely understand that myself. To explain it to someone else? Whew. My brain always seems to be working. It jumps from one thing to the next. I can be intensely excited about something one moment and literally depressed the next. I get highly focused on things for brief periods of time to the detriment of all else around me. I have many, many projects going at once and while I do finish them, some take a long, long time to complete. I am *never* bored. Never. I always have something I want to do. If I get tired of one thing, I move on to something else.

What I feel -- Empathy for others; especially those who are downtrodden or ill or picked on. I want to help everyone who needs it but when I can't, I get really frustrated and angry. Sometimes I get very down on myself and get very self-critical (although a lot less than I did 7 years ago. Thank you, therapy.). I have an almost too-protective love for my children. Everytime I see some horrible newspaper story about a child who died or gets kidnapped, my protectiveness goes on high alert. I am very loyal to friends.

Who I fuck -- Just the hubby for going on 18 years.

How do I summarize that? I'm loyal wife, overprotective mother and a good friend (and a loyal fan, too.) My major shortcoming is a short attention span. Okay, that and my mood swings. Ah well. I have a lot of fun and I wouldn't change a thing. I really, really, really like my life right now.

2003-01-05T09:15:00.000-05:00

Tonight! It's tonight! Good God. So long waiting and it's finally here. To get a full feel for how long I have been in waiting mode -- I got up this morning to check my email. Found a link to Virginia Rohan's article and am reading along just fine. Calm and collected. Then I get to the third paragraph and read this -- "Oz" begins its sixth and final season at 9 tonight - on the heels of its most watched season ever.

And my brain goes, ``Tonight? Did I read that right? Tonight?!'' Then I totally freak because I'm suddenly fully cognizent of the fact that the fucking wait is over. I mean I knew it was but full realization didn't hit me until I read that sentence. How weird am I?

Okay, well that's all for now. I'm off to spend the day with Rami and some other slashers. What could be more fun?

2003-01-04T10:28:00.000-05:00

Feeling happy today. I got 77 hits on my recs blog since Te posted an announcement. Wow! I'm so excited about that. Rowan jokingly asked me if she could pay me to be her publicist. Hee! If I charged for gushing, Lee would owe me somewhere in the neigbhorhood of around a few hundred thousand dollars. And he would owe Dori even more. That sound about right, Dori? ;)

Tomorrow, I'm going to hang out with Rami and a couple of her buddies. We'll go see ``The Two Towers'' (second time for me, the umpteenth time for Rami) and then we'll come back here and watch ``Oz'' together! Poor Rami has no HBO. Bad for her. Good for me. Now she'll just have to come over and watch it with me every week. Yay! I've only seen her once since Oct. 8th! Not enough!

2003-01-03T21:36:00.000-05:00

Wow. I'm so excited. A few weeks back I decided to start a fanfic recs blog. (Yes, I realize I'm crazy trying to keep up with three blogs.) I always wanted to have a fanfics rec page but I figured that would be too much work. So then when I saw Riley Cannon had started one for BK Fic, I decided it was a great idea and I would go ahead with mine.

So I created one to do Oz, Due South and The Sentinel recs on Dec. 4. But it was still pretty soon after the whole novel thing and I wasn't back into the swing of reading things. But now I am. So today, I sent the addy to Te to add to her listing at We Read Crap So You Don't Have To and she listed me! I was sooooooo thrilled. So I figured now was a good a time as any to let everyone else know.

Without further ado, my new recs blog.

2003-01-03T17:06:00.000-05:00

I saw a really interesting film the other day. It's called ``Y Tu Mama Tambien'' and it's Mexican. The basic story is about two teenagers who go on a road trip with the wife of one of their cousins. The teens, although supposedly in committed relationships, have plans to have sex with the cousin's wife. The wife, smarting over her husband's infidelity, goes along with them. Soon they are fighting and fucking, which is all not very interesting. BUT, then the cousin's wife makes the observation that the two of them should stop fighting and just fuck each other, which is what they really want to do. That's when it starts to get interesting.

In the final sex scene, the cousin's wife takes them both to bed. While she gets busy on her knees, the two teens are heaving and panting in close proximity. They seem to have nothing to do with their hands and their mouths, so they turn to each other and soon they are engaged in a passionate embrace and kissing like there's no one else in the room. It's one of the most erotic screen kisses I've ever seen and worth dredging through the rest of this film.

I don't know what it is about men kissing men that I love so much. It's just hot; especially when there's strong emotion between them. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Speaking of which, I finally got a hold of ``Cruising'' and watched it. Wow. I don't know why I waited so long to watch this film. Some of those club scenes amazed me, seeing as this came out almost 20 years ago. The sucking and the licking and the fisting! I was watching with my mouth hanging open. Thank you, Dan, for convincing me to get this. The only thing I didn't get was what was going on with Al's character. He seemed to be struggling with some inner demons all through his undercover assignment. Yet, at the end, he went right back to his girlfriend as normal and as straight as he was before he started. Did I miss something?

2003-01-02T22:58:00.000-05:00

Three more days until Oz premieres. I was managing to stay pretty calm. Really I was. I kept telling myself, the sooner it starts, the sooner it ends. I really did repeat that to myself over and over. Then I see this --

and it all just falls apart. (Thank you, Dan. You're a God!) I totally lost it. I can't think of anything else now but Sunday night. Get. the. fuck. here. now. The boys together again. Touching and kissing and declaring their love for each other. How can I wait three more days?! How, I ask you?

~*~*~*~*

I did some more writing today - about 500 words in my longish Sentinel piece. Not as much as I wanted to do, but better than nothing. I will do more tomorrow.

2003-01-02T10:48:00.000-05:00

The vacation ends today. Well, for P. and my youngest son anyway. My oldest boy doesn't have to return to school until Monday. Lucky him.

The last couple of days, I have been on a fanfic kick. It all started with Institutionalized . I read the stories there and my interest in Oz fanfic was totally reinvigorated. And because I loved "Jailbait" so much, I had to go and read the rest of Rowan's fanfic. She's good. She's really good. I don't know how I possibly missed her stuff before. I've been reading DS stuff for at least 6 months. And I had a link to her webpage on my computer! I think Rami or Gemma gave it to me, but I don't remember. I swear I am losing my mind. Anyway, I have been happily reading her stories. I really enjoy finding a writer I like and then reading all their stories one after another. It's such a treat.

When I get excited like this about a writer, I end up sending way too many feedback emails to them. Poor Rowan is going to be sick of me if she isn't already. :)

It was also a treat to read new Oz fic by dargie and
Actizera in Institutionalized. I am one happy fanfic reader this week.

I also started writing again after more than a week of just letting the whole vacation mindest take over. On Tuesday, I wrote about 700 words in an Oz story. Today, I plan to do some more writing. Sometimes, though, when I get caught up in reading, I have a hard time stopping to write. It's a Catch 22. When I'm reading something really good, it makes me want to write but I don't want to stop reading.

*sigh*

2003-01-01T11:21:00.000-05:00

For the second year in a row, my New Year's resolution involves Lee Tergesen. Probably not a surprise to any of you reading this. It will, however, probably surprise P. Hee! Oh well.

The first time I decided that my New Year's resolution should be something I really want to do rather than something I should do was in 2000. The previous fall, I had found a chat room full of Terrence Mann fans. Terry is a Broadway actor whom I'd seen in Cats during the first year it was on stage. I'd wanted to meet him for about 17 years and I finally did - in June of 2000. It was the first time I'd ever set out with the purpose of meeting someone I admired. After it was over, I was just overwhelmed with emotion and just started bawling like a baby.

I like to think I've matured since then. ;)

By the fall of 2000, I had a new obsession -- Richard Schiff of the West Wing. On New Year's day 2001, I pledged to meet him and I accomplished my goal in April when the cast came to D.C. to film some outdoor shots. I was nervous and excited and completely thrilled. Strangely enough, by the time I actually met Richard, I was newly into my obsession for Lee Tergesen. (You see how fickle I usually am?)

The rest, as they say, is history which all you know already and have heard more times than you care to.

I was lucky enough to meet both Terry and Richard twice but the second meet was not nearly as exciting as first. That certainly has not been the case with Lee. I was just as nervous and excited the second, third and fourth times I met Lee as I was the first. There is something magical about that man!

2002-12-31T15:27:00.000-05:00

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 2.52

1. Which Blog post of yours was one of your favorites of 2002?

The first one that popped into my head was the first entry of my Lee blog because it sums everything that I've ever wanted to tell Lee so succinctly. Better than any letter I've written to him - and I have written many.

2. Were there any "old acquaintances" that should be forgot this year?

No. I'm pretty good at keeping in touch with people, even if it's only once a year. I send out almost one hundred Christmas cards and I always include a personal note in each one, which is why it takes me so freaking long to do them.

3. Did you finish what you started last week?

Hmm. Probably not. I tend to procrastinate. Some weeks I'm very productive and others I'm simply not.

4. Will you be doing anything to celebrate "New Year's Eve?" Any traditional food or drinks you associate with "New Year's?"

Nope. I never go out. Just hang out at home with P and the boys. Champagne? I don't drink it, though.

5. What was the coolest present you got this year?

A digital camera! That's right, Dori, now I can take wonderful pictures of Lee, just like you. ;)

6. The day after Christmas, around 3pm, I drove by a car where the driver and his passenger were each drinking a beer; there was no mistake about it. I was shocked, because I'd never seen anyone actually do this. And wasn't sure what I should do about it. What would you do in the same situation?

Not since my high school years have I seen anyone drink in a car. I thought it was pretty normal then. Now, I'd be horrified.

7. Have you ever driven a car while drinking alcohol? Ever driven drunk or known anyone who has? How'd that turn out?

Yes, I did when I was in high school. Once. It was very disorienting. No, no one got hurt.

Bonus: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I like complications. It makes life interesting.

2002-12-31T09:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, P and I were childless for several hours. Highly unusual state of affairs. My sister took our boys, Brandon (hers) and Joshua to the Washington Auto Show. P and I had a leisurely morning and then had lunch at a nearby restaurant we've been wanting to try. Soon after lunch was over, we got a call from Sis saying she was heading home. They'd been gone about four hours total. Joshua and Brandon, she said, were not listening so she'd cut the day short. My boys, she said, ``were angels.'' Hey, I'm just quoting what she said. hehe. They're not always angels, though, believe me.

Sunday, I had the house completely to myself and didn't get much done. P. took the boys to two museums by himself. Glutton for punishment, eh?

I played on the computer for a bit and then I watched a movie I'd recorded the night before called ``Enemy at the Gate.'' Two of my favorite actors are in it - Joseph Fiennes and Ed Harris. It takes place in World War II on the Russian front. Fiennes and Jude Law play soldiers trying to keep the Germans from taking over Russia. It's quite a bloody movie but pretty well done. Very realistic. Law shoots down several German officers after they've bombed a section of the city. He becomes a hero when Fiennes writes stories about him in the army paper. There are some very slashy moments between Fiennes and Law and I wasn't even looking for them. I know Law makes a lot of women's hearts beat faster but he doesn't do a thing for me. Still, there some lovely hugs and looks of longing between the two of them that I certainly didn't imagine.

Harris plays a Nazi who is called to Russia to find Law (who's become an expert sniper) and take him out. Lots of tension after that and some real surprises.

2002-12-29T10:31:00.000-05:00

In honor of Viggo's amazing performance, I've made a list of sexy movie heroes. Yes, some of my choices are unorthodox and even unusual. What did you expect?

The Sexiest Movie Heroes

15. David Larrabee (Greg Kinnear) in ``Sabrina'' -- He's got charm to spare and a smile that just makes your legs melt. He's adorable and you *know* why Sabrina is in love with him. What you can't understand is why she fell for his uptight brother, Lionel, who had no charm whatsoever. (see also Simon Bishop in ``As Good as It Gets,'' where Greg plays an adorably sweet gay man, who has amazing chemistry with Helen Hunt.)

14. Chris Perez (Jon Seda) in ``Selena'' -- How adorable was he during that scene in the bus when he kissed Selena for the first time? Mmmmmm

13. Thomas Reilly (Robert Downey, Jr) in ``Heart and Souls'' -- He's funny, adorable, charming and has a singing voice to die for. They should have cast Kyra Sedgwick as his girlfriend instead of one of his ``souls'' because their chemistry was amazing.

12. Gary Jensen (Callum Keith Rennie) in ``Suspicious River'' -- Okay, he's not a hero, but I'm making an exception. He's actually the villain dressed up as a good guy at the beginning. He does a damn good job of fooling you, too. He looks at you with those smoky blue eyes and you're gone. He purrs at you with that *voice* and forget it. Yeah, he's as evil as they come in this one, but he's still damn sexy. I. Don't. Care. He is!

11. Doug Chesnic (Nicolas Cage) in ``Guarding Tess'' -- When he went crazy looking for his beloved First Lady, didn't you just fall in love with this guy? I know I did. This is the film that turned me into a Nicolas Cage fan.

10. Bud White (Russell Crowe) in ``L.A. Confidential'' -- Yeah, he was a brute, but he was a sexy brute. And when he showed his gentle side? Purrrrrrrrrr.

9. Bill Reimers (Emilio Estevez) in ``Stakeout'' -- He plays a loving, stable husband; a man of responsibility. After years of seeing Emilio play idiot teens, this performance took me by surprise and hooked me good. I couldn't stop thinking about that scene where he cuddles in bed with his wife. Yum.

8. Jack Callahan (Bill Pullman) in ``While You Were Sleeping'' -- Didn't you just want to take this guy home? Come on, admit it!

7. Han Solo (Harrison Ford) in ``Star Wars Trilogy'' -- The hottest scene was when he's about to go in the freezer and the princess calls out ``I love you'' and he says, ``I know'' so seriously, so full of emotion. This is one confident, sexy hero.

6. The Man in Black, aka Westley (Cary Elwes) in ``The Princess Bride'' -- Does this guy know how to wear black or what? And he was sooooooo good at everything.

5. Graham (James Spader) in ``sex, lies and videotape'' -- The man is fucked up and twisted but he bares his soul and tries to be a better person. What is more sexy than that? (see also - Max in ``White Palace.'' Spader is so good at playing men with guilty souls. Mmmm.)

4. Fergus, aka Jimmy (Stephen Rea) in ``The Crying Game'' -- Rea is not a handsome man. I know this. But his portrayal of Fergus, a man who unwittingly falls in love with another man and then cannot deny how he feels, just pulled at me.

3. Count Laszlo de Almasy (Ralph Fiennes) in ``The English Patient'' -- Ralph is a master of romantic angst. He pines beautifully for his lover; he wears his agony and pain all over his face. He makes you ache for him.

2. Dave Kovic (Kevin Kline) in ``Dave'' -- He's a thoughtful, caring president and a damn charming husband to boot. (see also, Nathan in ``Sophie's Choice,'' where's he dangerous but sexy as hell)

1. Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) in ``The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring'' and ``LOTR: The Two Towers'' -- He is the epitomy of rugged masculinity and sexuality. He speaks and you swoon (no, I am not kidding). He runs forward into the fray, not caring a damn for his own safety. He dreams of his lover, who is far from him. He fights tirelessly and relentlessly. He is the ultimate hero.

2002-12-28T19:57:00.000-05:00

Just got back from The Two Towers a bit ago and I have just one word to say about Viggo Mortensen - SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This man is so hot he melts the fucking cels, okay? No, I mean it. I suppose it's really the character of Aragorn that makes me swoon, but Viggo is doing the acting, so all credit should go to him, right? In this movie, Aragorn is even sexier and more honorable and braver and even more delicious than he is in the first one - and that's saying a lot! I didn't think it was possible but he did it. (I do have to give Legolas his due, though. How cool was it when he slid down the steps on that shield, shooting arrow after arrow? VERY fucking cool. I actually cheered aloud!)

This movie was MUCH more enjoyable for me than the first one. The battle scenes did not seem as frequent and relentless as they did in the first movie. (I really didn't like any of the scenes that occurred in that underground cave AT ALL.) This had more prep time and anticipation, I thought. There was even some down time when they switched scenes, which I was grateful for. It allowed me to catch a breath, so to speak.

I was so pumped by the end that I walked out of the theater with a hop in my step. Hee! I think I could definitely watch this one again.

I fancy Men.
Being queen isn't such a bad idea if HE'S the king.
Which culture from Middle-Earth do you fancy?
By Hannah and Dani

2002-12-27T17:32:00.000-05:00

Wednesday afternoon, my sister, Kathie, and I headed to the airport to pick up our nephew, Joshua. He is the son of our other sister, Linda. My parents had three daughters, who then had five grandsons between them. No granddaughters.

Joshua, who is 10, and Kathie's son, Brandon, who is also 10, joined all of us for a trip into D.C. yesterday. Kathie had to work, so it was Joshua, Brandon, my boys and hubby. Let me tell you, driving to D.C. with four boys between the ages of 6 and 11 and then walking all over the place in the cold wind is not as much fun as you might think.

First, we tried to get into the Bureau of Engraving and Printing because all the boys wanted to see where the money was made. Alas, it closed early because of the holiday season. So we started walking toward the Air and Space Museum, which is a looooong walk in the wind and cold. Then, all four of them decided they were hungry (barely two hours after eating what I thought was a pretty damn good lunch) and they would just die if they didn't get anything to eat. We stopped briefly at the Museum of African Art, just to warm up, and they were already tired from the walking and the lack of a good snack food selection along the streets of D.C.

So we head out again a few minutes later and stop just outside Air and Space for a pretzel and some chips. Then inside, where everyone had different ideas for what they wanted to see. Hubby and I had to keep track of four boys instead of the usual two. For all those people who ask me why I don't want to have another child, this is why. We walked around this interactive exhibit about flying, that my eldest just loves. It took us a good 30 minutes to get through it because they all want to try all the buttons and knobs and there are just a ton of other people waiting to try them, too. Then Joshua wanted to go through the space ship up on the second floor and then they looked at the rockets and I don't even remember what else. There is a lot to see, but it seems like we always end up looking at the same stuff every time we go, which is 3 or 4 times a year.

Finally, it was time to go to the gift shop, which is my favorite part of going to a museum. I let Joshua pick out whatever he wanted for a Christmas present. He picked out a rocket. The rest of the boys each got to pick out something small and then all the way back to the car in the wind, cold and now-growing dark. Then there was a fight over who was going to sit where. Brandon sat between hubby and I on the way in and didn't want to do it again. So, I told Joshua it was his turn. He wasn't happy about it. He pouted all the way home. Literally.

So, what valuable lesson did I learn from this? Never go to D.C. with four boys unless you have your itinerary planned in advance - where you're going, what time you're going to get there, if it's open, if you can get in and where the closest place to park is.

2002-12-25T10:32:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALL!

One of my Christmas presents was a DVD of And Justice For All, an Al Pacino movie that came out in 1979. Al Pacino was the first guy dubbed ``my favorite actor.'' What an honor. LOL. And Justice for All was the first Pacino movie I saw in a theatre. I was a freshman in college and I saw it with my cousin, Gail.

Al's performance in this film is just amazing. He's a lawyer who really cares about his clients. He handles the downtrodden, the poor and the very unlucky. He fights battles for them. He even punches a judge in the face for one client! Okay, so it's a little far-fetched, but his character is heroic and lovable. My favorite scene (SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN THIS) is when Arthur confronts another lawyer who hastily took over a case for him while Al (Arthur) had to a handle an emergency. Arthur gave the lawyer very specific instructions for helping keep a transvestite client out of jail, but the lawyer gets distracted and the man goes to jail.

Arthur stops the lawyer's car as it's exiting a garage and starts beating on the car with his briefcase, all the while cursing and screaming at the lawyer, who think's Arthur's gone nuts. So he gets out of the car and they start arguing. Idiot lawyer says it's not a big deal, Arthur can just appeal.

Then Arthur says, ``I can't appeal it. He's dead. Half hour after they put him in the lock up, he hanged himself.'' You can see from the expression on his face that he blames himself and is just taking it out on that other lawyer. Then he wails ``goddammit'' three times and my heart just breaks for him. I soooo wanted him to win the Oscar for that role. He was nominated but Dustin Hoffman won for Kramer v. Kramer that year. I was sorely disappointed and hated Dustin for years. LOL.

Al was nominated for the Oscar five times and when he finally wins, what's it for? Something good like the Godfather? No. It's for that sorry-ass excuse for a movie The Scent of a Woman, which was sexist and stupid. Besides, Al overacted in that one and that shit just pisses me off. He started to lose me then. When I saw The Devil's Advocate, where he went way over the top in a truly horrible film, that was it. That was all she wrote. It's one thing to make a bad movie, but for God's sake have some respect for yourself! Jeez!

It's not that I don't still love Al. I do. But I'm just more wary of his movies. I have more discretion than I used to. In fact, I put off watching Any Given Sunday, thinking it might be another one of those overacting things. But he was actually very good in it. Very subtle, which he can be if he chooses.

So if you'd like a good sampling of Al, go with the Godfather movies (I love all three). And Justice for All, Dog Day Afternoon (which is the movie that made me fall in love with this man), Serpico, Any Given Sunday and Two Bits.

Avoid at all costs - The Scent of a Woman, Devil's Advocate, and Heat.

2002-12-24T11:46:00.000-05:00

I have spent at least 8 hours over the last three days cleaning up my children's toy room in the basement. The mess of toys and pieces of toys and wrappers and snack food crumbs was not to be believed. Yes, I allowed them to get away with the mess for far too long. Part of the reason I wanted the play room in the basement was so I didn't have to worry about cleaning it up everyday. What's a few toys on the floor of a room where no one goes and no one sees except for children. Well, that sort of escalated out of control and there were literally thousands of pieces of toys scattered across the floor. At it's worst, there was literally no where to step on the rug. It was a damn fire hazard.

Now, you could have a party for 20-25 people comfortably down there. Not that I would. It's just, there's that much room now. It's amazing. So now I have instituted new rules that all toys will be picked up on a daily basis. I just have to make sure I follow through and check up on them or they won't do it.

So that's what I've been doing for three days. How about you guys? ;)

2002-12-21T15:24:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I have been a Kevin Kline fan for many a year (over 19 years to be exact) and have traveled to New York many times to see him on the stage. However, I have never met the man. Never even made an attempt, really, because I figured it would be pointless now. Years ago, when he was probably more accessible than he is now, I was much too shy to attempt it.

Anywho, I just got this totally cool treat from Dan, a guy P. used to work with. It seems that Kevin appeared before a Senate subcommittee in the spring to testify on the issue of stem cell research. Dan was also at the hearing as his job is promoting health care research for the elderly. While Kevin testified, Dan said, he played with his witness nameplate. After the hearing was over, Dan swiped it up, knowing of my fondness for Kevin.

So now I have in my possession, a nameplate that says, ``Mr. Kline'' which was touched by the man himself. I am such a faaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn!

2002-12-19T20:47:00.000-05:00

I've decided to make a list. That's unusual, eh? ;) Today I was thinking about the best movie villians. You know - the ones that have real character, that make you think, that maybe make you laugh or curious about how they got where they are. Warning: This may contain spoilers for movies you haven't seen.

Anne's List of the 10 Best Movie Villains

10. Special Agent John Royce (Robert Downey Jr) in ``U.S. Marshalls'' - Downey is the worst kind of villain there is - cunning and manipulative. He makes you believe he's a good guy and then you're stunned when he blows away your favorite character with no warning whatsoever. Still, you have to admire how he fooled everyone, including you.

9. Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) in ``Dangerous Liaisons'' - Close gives a flawless performance in this one and she's got so many levels of deception, it's hard to keep track. First you cheer her for living her life the way she wants and not allowing society to dictate her actions. Then she shows you the cunning, evil side and makes you gasp. She's her own worst enemy and she almost has you feeling sorry for her by the end.

8. Brigadier General Francis X. Hummel (Ed Harris) in ``The Rock'' - This villain actually makes you feel sympathy for him. He's a hard ass until the feds call his bluff and then he realizes he can't detonate a nuclear bomb. He's a villain with honor and my heart broke for him.

7. Cobb (Brian Dennehy) in ``Silverado'' - Dennehy is such a charming, good-natured fella, you want to party with him rather than fight with him. He sucks you in with his charm and then turns on you when you least expect it. A villain you can just love. How much more dangerous can you get?

6. Ace Merrill (Kiefer Sutherland) in ``Stand By Me'' - Kiefer plays a true villain in this one. He has no morals whatsoever and will even stoop to hurting 12-year-old boys to get what he wants. He's scary and he's compelling to watch.

5. Egor Korshunov (Gary Oldman) in ``Air Force One.'' - Oldman has played so many villains in so many delicious ways, but this is my favorite. He shows he is willing to go to any lengths to achieve his goal. Still, he has moments where he's engaging and shows how strongly he believes in his cause. He's chilling in this one.

4. Dr. Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh) in ``Wild, Wild West'' - Loveless is the best part of this film. He is witty and charming. He comes close to making you cheer for him. My favorite exchange -- Bloodbath McGrath - ``You go to hell, sir.'' Loveless - ``After you, sir.'' Then he shoots McGrath.

3. Albert, aka Mister (Danny Glover) in ``The Color Purple'' - I sooooo wanted Celie to cut his throat during the shaving scene. He was mean and hateful and verbally abusive. But at the end, when he wrote that letter for her sister, I was thrilled. Danny took me on a rollercoaster ride in this wonderful film.

2. Lucius Malfoy (Jason Isaacs) in ``Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'' - This guy plays the sexiest villains. You don't know whether you want to kill him or fuck him.

aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddd (drum roll please)

1. Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) in ``Die Hard.'' Is Alan Rickman not the greatest villain ever? He's intelligent and witty and you don't know quite what's he's going to do next. He surprises you and he makes you admire him. This is one villain whom you believe *can* outsmart the hero.

2002-12-18T22:37:00.000-05:00

Pinched from dargie:

1. Which blogger have you known longest online only?

All the guys and gals from my Oz list who were on it when I joined in February 2001 - dargie, Susan, Dan, Riley Cannon, Rikki, and Rami.

2. Which blogger have you known longest IRL?

Rami

3. Which blogger have you spent the most time with IRL?

Rami

4. Which blogger would you most like to meet IRL (that you haven’t met IRL)?

Dan

5. Which blogger do you think has the best blog design?

trasker's is pretty clever.

6. Which blogger do you like most to argue with?

None. I read blogs for enjoyment. If I had any inclination to argue with a blogger, I would just stop reading their blog.

7. Which blogger makes you laugh the most?

LeahAnne and Dan

8. Which blogger intimidates you the most?

None anymore. When I still new at blogging, there were a few bloggers that made me feel a little intimidated but I am so over that. ;)

9. Which blogger do you most wish would post more often?

Rikki and Dan

10. Which blogger do you most wish would get a comment system?

Riley Cannon

AND, I'd to add my own question:

11. Which blogger has consistently new entries whenever you visit?

dargie

2002-12-18T16:54:00.000-05:00

Got this from a friend via email --

(sung to the tune of "if you're happy and
you know it")

-----
If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank takes back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy, Bomb Iraq.

If the corporate scandals growin', bomb Iraq.
And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq.
If the smoking gun ain't smokin' We don't care, and
we're not jokin'.
That Saddam will soon be croakin', Bomb Iraq.

Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq.
From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections;
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.

While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq.
Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq.
If the ozone hole is growing,
Some things we prefer not knowing.
Though our ignorance is showing, Bomb Iraq.

So here's one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq,
From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq.
Saying no would look like treason.
It's the Hussein hunting season.
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.

2002-12-17T15:12:00.000-05:00

I came home from shopping today ready to take a nap. I could barely keep my eyes open. But first I checked my phone messages and I got news from a friend which guarantees I won't be napping today. I am beyond excited about this news. You thought I got excited about seeing Lee Tergesen? Well, my friends, you ain't seen nothing yet.

The news is this - a folk duo by the name of Buskin and Batteau are reuniting for the first time in 14 years. Suffice it to say, I was a HUGE fan of this group and have kept in touch with the members over the years. Since this news will probably mean nothing to anyone reading this (except maybe Rami), let me try to put this in perspective and give you a little history.

I first heard Buskin and Batteau in 1984 at a concert in New York. The show was a tribute to the late Harry Chapin. Harry's brother, Tom, came out and sang a few of Harry's songs. I thought the whole night was going to be like that - artists singing Harry's songs. When Tom introduced B&B and they started performing their own songs, I was disappointed and had pretty much decided that I was going to have a miserable time for the rest of the evening. But David Buskin and Robin Batteau won me over with their talent, their humor and their extraordinary chemistry with each other. They were magical that night and I was completely hooked.

I started going to all their shows after that as I lived in New York at the time. Their shows were always full of fun and good music. I would always come home humming their tunes. I still listen to their tapes and CDs. Just two weeks ago, I sent the lyrics for one of their songs, ``Death in Venice,'' to dargie. I think it was an omen.

David and Robin were both involved in charity work with the World Hunger Year, a group Harry co-founded, so I got to meet them later that year. When I moved to Washington, D.C., in 1986 to be with my (then-future) husband, I kept in touch with Robin and David and continued to attend their shows when they ventured down this way. Everytime I went to see them, it was new all over again. I would sing along and bounce in my seat.

Then in 1989, Buskin and Batteau broke up. I was heartbroken. For a few years, the two didn't even speak. Robin semi-retired from concerts and concentrated full time on jingle writing. He wrote Heartbeat of America for Chevrolet and dozens of other well-known jingles. David, who also writes jingles, continued to perform solo and then joined a band called Modern Man. Because they still traveled the same circles and still did charity work, David and Robin kept running into each other and started speaking again and performed together ocassionally in a charity concert. I have not seen them perform together since 1989 and my friend, Betsy tells me that Robin initiated the reunion. She said Robin told her he missed performing and he felt like he was at his best when performing with David. Truer words were never spoken. The two create magic just by being in the same room with each other.

They are scheduled to perform at a nearby club on February 1 and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

2002-12-17T08:01:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to Sylvan to get L. and arrived a little early. So I sat down and picked up the latest copy of people. Inside, I found an article about Iran Brown, the 13-year-old boy who was shot by the sniper. I recognized his face because I had seen him on the news a few days earlier. The story said he had made a miraculous recovery and was even playing basketball. (The Washington Post reported he returned to school yesterday.)

As I read the story, I got choked up all over again, remembering that day when I first heard about the shooting. As a mother, the shooting of Iran Brown affected me more than any of the other victims; especially since I have a son just two years younger. I was thrilled to read he was recovering so well and silently prayed that he didn't suffer any emotional or mental problems resulting from the shooting. In the People article (which was not available on line), he said that the uplifting letters and cards he received really helped him in his recovery because he knew people cared about him. I wrote a letter to Iran's mother and sent a check for his recovery fund. Both my boys gladly gave up three weeks worth of allowance to him.

When L.'s class ended and he came out to get his coat, I showed him the article. Some of the other kids standing nearby overheard me and suddenly I had a swarm of kids surrounding me, wanting to see the pictures. They all began asking questions. ``Is he alright?'' they all asked in one form or another. I informed that the article said he was making a really good recovery. One girl, who was about 10 or 11 seemed relieved. ``Really? He's doing well?'' She seemed to want me to repeat it to be sure it was real. All of the children were genuinely interested and happy about the news. It was nice to see such hope on their faces.

2002-12-16T19:11:00.000-05:00

LOL! Turns out I happen to like this drink, too.

Stolen from dargie and Leahanne:

""Which cocktail are you?""
brought to you by Quizilla

~*~*~*~*

Well, after 7 days of post-Lee glow, I finally decided to start working on my fiction again. Yesterday, I wrote 400 words. Not too bad, but it could have been better. This week is looking hectic, so I don't know if I'll meet my goals. I'll just give it my best.

~*~*~*~*

Dori posted more of Christy's pics from Oz premiere night. Christy takes such wonderful pictures and Lee looks so good in every one of them. He's so damn photogenic, it's disgusting! I especially love the one with Lee looking adoringly at Dori. It just makes my heart skip a beat. What a doll that man is!

2002-12-15T11:11:00.000-05:00

My freshman-year college roommate, Gwen, who is the same age as me, recently became a grandmother. It's pretty wild to think about, as my oldest child is only 11. Hers is 22. Her *youngest* daughter is 18 and just entered the University of Michigan this fall. Michigan is my alma mater, although it's not where I met Gwen. We both started our college years at a small school in Adrian, Michigan, called Siena Heights College. I transferred to Michigan at the beginning of my junior year and graduated in 1983.

Gwen is one of those people who stays perpetually upbeat in the face of anything life has to throw her. I've never met anyone even remotely like her. Her life story is the kind that sells newspapers and yet her life is very simple and full of loving family and friends. I am grateful to know her and to have remained friends with her over the last 23 years. I saw her and her grown children last summer and it was like no time had passed since we were last together, although it had been 10 years.

Gwen left school at the end of her freshman year when she became pregnant with her first child. She got married and started doing the Mom thing when she was just 20 years old. She was a natural. Her children are wonderful, smart, and thoughtful. It was like she was born to be a Mom.

When she was pregnant with her third child, Gwen's husband left her and she was left to raise her children alone. The cad also left her without child support and she had to go on AFDC for three years. Still, she perserved. She took courses, got her associate degree, found a great job and got off the AFDC rolls all by herself. She met a new man and fell in love. Soon after, she was diagnosed with relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis - the mild form. Still, it hampered the way she lived, how much she was able to work. Somehow, she perserved. Everytime I spoke to her on the phone, she was upbeat, even when she in the midst of one of her ``episodes,'' which sometimes last months at a time.

Her man stood by her side during the beginning of her illness and they soon planned to be married, but he had problems and unexpectedly, he took his own life. Another blow and Gwen kept going, kept giving to her children, kept working, kept her family together. My admiration for her knows no bounds.

About 11 years ago, she met another good man and they are still together and she is still close to her children. She is currently working on her bachelor's degree and still working for that same company. When I saw her in July, I asked her how she was doing with the disease. She said she hadn't an episode in awhile, but the medication she was on to prevent it caused depression. The anti-depressents caused her to gain weight, which made her uncomfortable. It was one of the few complaints she'd voiced to me in all the years I've known her.

All of her children hung out with us during our visit, even her son, who is 20. They were polite and engaged me and my children in conversation. They treated us both like friends and revered guests. It was a treat to spend time with them. Many people have much easier lives than Gwen and yet don't live it as richly as she does.

Gwen's three children and her granddaughter

2002-12-13T09:36:00.000-05:00

I'm not quite ready to head over to the gym yet and I remembered I hadn't done this in awhile --

PromoGuy's Monday Mission
1. Do you get sick very often? What illness do you find that you've had most frequently?

Usually only about once every winter and it's not too bad. Last winter, though, I had three lung infections in a row, which kept me inside for almost 2 months. Most frequently I get colds.

2. Do you mind going to see the Doctor when you get sick? Do you know anyone who just refuses to go to a Doctor when they get ill? Any idea why they are like that?

I don't mind going to the doctor at all if I feel like I need to. My mother-in-law hates going. I am not sure why. She is 81 years old and generally in excellent health (her cholesteral is lower than mine!), so I think she hates admitting that she's not perfect and not going to live forever. Although, she may outlive me.

3. How about visiting the Dentist? Do you go get a check-up every 6 months? Or do you dread going?

Here's where I'm weird (well, one of the ways). I LOVE going to the dentist. Really, I do. I love having my teeth cleaned. I love being in the chair. I really relax at the dentist's office. I can't explain why. I think it's something about having someone else do something for me. I get all tingly. (Yeah, I know. Weird. You don't have to tell me.) I get the same way when I go to get my hair cut. I go every four months to the dentist because that's what he recommends.

4. Have you ever taken any diet pills, energy pills or energy drinks? How did they make you feel? Do you still take them? How come?

No diet pills, yes to a few energy drinks although I haven't felt much of a different when I do. I only drink them ocassionally when I'm in no mood to eat breakfast, but I know I have to have something.

5. Have you heard about "Gastric Bypass" surgery that many celebrities are doing to loose weight? What are your thoughts on this procedure? Would you ever consider it? How would you feel if a relative were to decide to undergo the procedure?

Yes, I've heard of it. I feel like it's a good option for those who need it. I'm not sure if I would consider. Not right now, although I am concerned about my weight. Still, there's this stubborn part of me that wants to lose the weight on my own. I would be worried if a relative decided to have it done, but I would support them. I think it's up to the individual.

6. What do you think the opposite sex needs to experience to fully understand what it is like to be your gender?

Not a clue. I'm not sure any male could understand what it's like to be female.

7. And to lighten things up a bit before we go...What's the most worthless gadget, infomercial item or "looked like a bargain" item you have ever purchased or owned?

I'm not much of a gadget user, so I don't know.

BONUS: Why can't every day be like Christmas? Because then Christmas wouldn't be fun and unique.

Today's Comment Question: I have a new, faster computer and I am ready run some new programs and have fun. What do you like to do (games, programs, etc.) on your computer for entertainment?

I hate computer games. I never play them. I occasionally take a quiz, but not games. They seem pointless and a waste of time to me. For fun, I like to surf and post on message boards, forums, and lists.

2002-12-13T08:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am determined not to mention *him* in my blog today cause I know you all are sick of the subject.

This week has been a little bit crazy, what with Christmas bearing down quickly. Every year, I get this schedule in my head about when I'm going to finish shopping, when I'm going to wrap and pack all the presents, when I'm going to head off to UPS with my packages. Well, I'm behind this year. I don't usually get behind. I think I got behind because of my pre-occupation on a certain person who will not be named in this entry. ;)

Today is supposed to be my UPS day. However, I have not wrapped a single present. And, of course, I have not put them them boxes either. So that leaves me starting from scratch on that. Plus, I have to do a few other errands and go to the gym today. It's not that bad really, but I just hate getting behind schedule. I also have many more Christmas cards to write and mail. Such is life. I will not panic about this. I feel too good.

The one thing that did manage to piss me off this week was a furniture store where Paul picked out a small love seat and chair. They were supposed to delivery it yesterday. They gave me a four hour window - between 1-5 - for delivery. Well, I had to pick up son no. 1 at 2:35 and then pick up son no. 2 at 3:30 and bring him to Sylvan. Each time I was gone, Ieft a note on the door saying exactly when I would be back. The second time I was gone, they arrived at the house at exactly 4 pm. (I was on the phone with son no. 1, who told me. But I couldn't have him opening the door to strangers.) I arrived home at 4:12, three minutes earlier than I said I would be and they were gone.

I called the delivery people. Sorry we can't get back until next Friday, which turns out to be another bad day for me. Son no. 1 gets out early that day - in the morning. Son no. 2 gets out regular time. Aargh! So, now they say Dec. 23. Husband is pissed, calls them and reads them the riot act, which I can't really do most of the time. Still stuck.

It's not really a horrible thing, but it is annoying and I figured it was better than writing another entry on you-know-who.

2002-12-12T07:40:00.000-05:00

I didn't post yesterday because I didn't want to move that lovely photo down. I also didn't really have anything to say that didn't involve Lee and I figured you guys have had enough of that. Lee is still on my mind, of course. He always is but other things are slowly working their way in.

I got my nanowrimo t-shirt in the mail yesterday. It's a little too big but may shrink when I wash it. Getting it reminded me that I need to open up that file again and do some more writing and some editing. I haven't written an fiction since last Thursday and then only a little. Since then, everything has centered around Lee. Seeing him really does throw me off my schedule. It's worth it, though. Five days later and I'm still feeling the glow. I look at one my new photos of him, which are all over my desk, or think of him and I get this huge fucking grin on my face. I don't want to do anything else. Makes me think of that Diana Ross song -- ``Love Hangover.'' ;)

``I got the sweetest hangover I don't want to get over.'' Ain't that truth?

2002-12-10T19:49:00.000-05:00

Who is that estatically happy woman? Why, it's me. *bg*

That is all.

(Thanks, Danielle)

2002-12-09T19:28:00.000-05:00

I am ready to scream.

I have my pictures back from Saturday night and they came out wonderful! The prints are really clear and bright. I was so shocked after the fiasco at Kanvas. The problem is when I download from the disk to the computer, they are huge. Over a megabite and I have no clue how to reduce the size. This is the first time I've used a Fuji disk, which is what they gave me at motophoto, and there doesn't seem to be any kind of function for size reduction. I tried using two photo programs I have on my computer. No luck there either.

I emailed one photo to Susan and it literally took 5 minutes to load. It ended up being 1399 k! So, there is no way for me to share these photos with anyone until I figure this out, which leads back to me wanting to scream.

2002-12-08T19:54:00.000-05:00

I won't bother to post my rambling summary from the evening with the Oz cast since I put it on my Lee blog. But I will add a few details that I forgot to put in my summary. Thanks to Danielle for helping me remember!

When we were talking to Lee about the t.v. show he was on, Lee mentioned that he had not been able to watch it yet. Danielle suggested he email it to himself and he said he had tried but it didn't work. Then Danielle suggested that he ask for a copy from the station. ``It's the least they can do since you're going to be hosting their show for three freaking hours,'' she said, or something to that effect. Danielle does not mince words. She and Lee were trading barbs all night. It was quite hysterical to listen to the two of them. She's not sure when she's going to get around to posting her story because she only has access to a computer at work and she has a busy week ahead. I remembered telling him that he was very charming on the tape and had come across really well. I kept complimenting him all night long. I couldn't help myself!

I also told Lee about the Tom Fontana email, but he didn't hear everything I said at first because he got confused. ``Who wrote that?'' he asked, referring to the email with the naked comment. ``Tom Fontana!'' I said. ``Oh, now it makes sense,'' he said. LOL. What a character.

Danielle also reminded me (and I can't believe I forgot to put this in) that at one point early in the evening, Lee, Danielle and I were talking about Kumpe. It was awhile after I'd given it to him. He said something to the effect that he'd looking forward to trying it all day. Then Danielle asked if I used the recipe she had sent me. I was pretty sure it was hers, although I had about four or five of them. So she says to Lee, ``See? See? It was my recipe.'' That woman was constantly trying to get Lee's attention! ;)

And Christy, doll that she is, told me that I had gone ``above and beyond the call'' of duty by making and bringing the Kumpe for Lee. Thank you, my dear. It was nice to hear that. :)

2002-12-06T09:27:00.000-05:00

Today is going to be a crazy day. School was cancelled again, so I have to do all my errands with munchkins. I wasn't able to go out yesterday so I still don't have all the Kumpe ingrediants. So that's one errand I have to do. I also have to go to the dry cleaners, stop at the bank to get a cashier's check to take to the re-financing, and then come home and actually make the Kumpe if I find the ingredients. Then I'll have to pack for the trip.

I don't know if I'll have time to do any writing today, but I am *so* not going to worry about that. Today it's all about Lee. Or getting ready to go see Lee. Tomorrow is going to be all about Lee. Good God. My stomach started churning from the moment I woke up at the thought. Why do I do this to myself? I wish I could make it stop. Well, not really. Nerves are all part of the fun, right? ;)

2002-12-05T19:55:00.000-05:00

Today's Fanfic Word Count: 1108

2002-12-05T14:17:00.000-05:00

I had an unusual dream about Kevin Rahm last night. He's not on my favorite actor list but I have noticed his work for several years. Currently, he stars on Judging Amy as Amy's cousin, Kyle, a recovering drug addict.

I first saw Kevin in a short-loved comedy called Everything's Relative and I thought he was pretty funny in that. Then he appeared on Jesse for awhile and that's when I looked him up to find out who he was. I even noticed him in that car ad that was a take off on the final scene from The Graduate. He was the ex-boyfriend racing to stop a wedding in his sporty car. I don't remember the name of the car.

In the dream, we were both at college and it was time for the Thanksgiving break. Kevin's stuff was all packed and ready to go. He was just waiting for his ride. I kept hanging around his room, hoping to snoop through his stuff. He kept catching me before I got a really good start. At one point, I remember wanting to get something out of his packed bags, so I could smell his scent. (Yes, I'm aware that I'm weird. Not that I'd do something like that in reality. hehe)

This other girl, who was a friend of his, came by his room to give him something for his trip. I decided to go ahead and put it in his bag for him, which would give me the opportunity to smell his clothes. Just as I opened his bag and slipped in the gift, he came back into the room, foiling me again. He seemed exasperated that I was in his room again and going through his stuff. I attempted to defend myself, using the whole ``packing this to save you a step'' thing but I'm not sure he was buying it. LOL. Then I woke up.

I just love having celebrity dreams.

2002-12-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

It's snowing today and all the schools are closed, so I get to be stuck in the house with two children under age 12. Oh joy. ;) Actually, they're being pretty good. They've already been out in the snow for awhile, so they're burning off more energy than they do in school, that's for sure.

They announced last night, before even a drop of snow fell, that schools would be closed. I swear, the Washington, D.C., area has the wimpiest snow people I've ever seen. A few flakes stick to the ground and there is panic. I'm not exaggerating. Traffics slows to a crawl for less than an inch - even during non-rush hours. There is an increase in the number of accidents and people genuinely act as if the world's coming to an end. I really am not exaggerating about this. You have to be here to see for yourselves. Even rain slows these people down to a ridiculously slow speed and I am no speed demon on the road, believe me. Rami can tell you. It's like everybody just off the plane from Southern California. They have *no* clue what to do in inclement weather.

I grew up in Vermont and I went to college in Michigan. In neither place, would school have been closed for even a foot of snow, never mind a few inches. I remember once, at the University of Michigan, waking up to find 18 inches on the ground. Surely, they'll cancel classes, I thought. I was wrong.

The one good thing about all the cancellations is I don't have to cart around two children with two different school schedules (not to mention different after school activities) today and that's a nice break. I can catch up on some stuff at home. I have my Christmas cards to work on, some fanfic to write, and I really need to get to those scrapbooks started.

2002-12-04T23:05:00.000-05:00

I made my writing goal again today. Just wanted to record it, so it's official and I can force myself to do it again tomorrow. ;)

~*~*~*

Stolen from Rami:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

The results certainly could have been worse.

2002-12-04T19:13:00.000-05:00

I have been listening to Enrique Iglesias of late and I must say that man has a *fine* voice; it resonates quite nicely. *shiver*

Anyway, there is one song that makes me think of Beecher and Keller when I listen. I can *hear* Chris thinking this. I italicized my favorite parts.

I'm Your Man

You can be a million miles away from me
You can be kissin` another man`s lips
But I`m your man, I`m your man

If tomorrow would stay behind
And my eyes that never wake up
I`m still your man, I`m your man

I pray to God,
I pray for time I pray
I can hold you in my arms
Pray with me eternally
Time is forever ours

It`s the way that you smile
The way that you cry
Why I always want to be your man
It`s the way that I feel, when I feel you inside
Why I always want to be your man

You can be a million miles away from me
You can be kissin` anoth-er man`s lips
But I`m your man, I`m your man

They can take away my heart and my soul
They can even tell me you don`t love me no more
But I`m your man, I`m your man

I won`t give up,
I won`t let you down
I promise to always stand by your side
Pray for faith, pray for you
Pray that we`ll always be

It`s the way that you smile
The way that you cry
Why I always want to be your man
It`s the way that I feel, when I feel you inside
Why I always want to be your man

It`s the way that you`re weak
It`s the way that you`re strong
Why I always want to be your man
It`s the way you believe
It`s the love that you give
Why I always want to be your man

I pray to
God, I pray for time I pray
I can hold you in my arms
Pray with me eternally
Time is forever ours

It`s the way that you smile
The way that you cry
Why I always want to be your man
It`s the way that I feel, when I feel you inside
Why I always want to be your man

It`s the way that you`re weak
It`s the way that you`re strong
Why I always want to be your man

It`s the way you believe
It`s the love that you give
Why I you give
Why I always want to be your man
Why I always want to be your man

2002-12-04T15:23:00.000-05:00

I watched ``24'' last night but was mildly disappointed. After several episodes of anticipation and nail biting, this episode didn't really deliver. Also, I kept predicting everything before it happened. I like it when I do that sometimes, but I also like to be surprised. There were no surprises last night at all. I even left the room in boredom at one point and that has never happened with that show before. Ah well. Hopefully, next week will be better. The confrontation between Nina and Jack was the biggest disappointment. Yeah, I know he's a professional, but come on! Give me more than a fake choking. And I hardly think Nina would have fallen for that shit after everything she's pulled. Give me a break!

2002-12-03T22:14:00.000-05:00

I met my 1,000 word writing goal today. Yesterday, I re-read the whole story, which is slightly over 20,000 words. It's a Sentinel story that I've been working on for almost a year and I just want to finish it. My goal is to complete the first draft by December 15 and sent it out for beta and then post it by Dec. 31st. I think I can do it.

~*~*~*~

I listened to an interview with Lee and Tom Fontana on WNYC (via the internet) today. It was about 18 minutes long and Lee got to talk a bit, but Tom hogged the conversation. Well, from my POV anyway. The host interviewed them about the play I'm going to see on Saturday. Lee was charming and funny as usual. Have I said lately how much I love that man? Yeah, well, I do. :)

2002-12-02T15:39:00.000-05:00

So I said I would take two days off after nanowrimo and then write 1,000 words a day for five days. Unfortunately, I didn't think about the timing of those days. Day five would fall on Saturday, the same day I'm driving to New York to see Lee. Am I going to be sitting down and writing on that day? Ha! I'll be lucky if I don't burst from excitement. Looks like I am going to have to get started today if I want to make my goal and I'm all about goals these days. LOL!

The thing is, I haven't even opened any of my non-nanowrimo writings in over a month, which means, I will have to spend a lot of time re-reading what I've written before I can even start writing again. *Sigh* That's okay, I'll get to it. Really, I will. I just need to procrastinate a little longer. Anyone got a problem with that?! I thought not.

Congrats to EVERYONE who participated in nanowrimo. I really enjoyed being part of a group of people who were working on it. If it wasn't for Susan, Rikki, Mav, Kate and Dargie checking up on me, I never would have cared whether or not I made my daily word count. You guys gave me lots of encouragement and I am immensely appreciative! Thanks! Also, thanks to Leahanne who provided encouragement despite not participating in nanowrimo! You're a doll!

I am sending my grand saga (*g*) off to get an actual copyright and once that's done, I will be posting the story as it progresses on my website in case anyone wants to read more than just excerpts. I will keep you all posted.

2002-12-01T10:55:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Not sure how I feel about this one --

You are Dawn! Or, Type Two of the Enneagram's personality structure: THE HELPER. You are caring, generous, possessive and manipulative.

Which Buffy & Enneagram's 9 Personalities Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

It does make you do a bit more thinking before answering than most of these quizes.

2002-11-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it. I hit the 50,000 word mark and I'm verified. Yay for me! :)

2002-11-29T21:02:00.000-05:00

Today's Word Count: 1650
Total Word Count: 48550

One more day and the project is finished. In terms of nanowrimo's goals anyway. I still have a lot more to write in this story and it certainly won't be finished tomorrow. I'm going to take two days off from writing and then work on the novel again, along with some fanfic. My new goal will be 1,000 words a day in either my novel or a fanfic piece for five days in a row. Then two days of editing. We'll see how that works out.

We all had a good day yesterday. Went to Va. to P's cousin's house. Saw their kids and grandson. Met a future son-in-law. Ate like pigs on fantastic Italian food. It really can't be beat.

2002-11-28T13:18:00.000-05:00

Today's Word Count: 1851
Total Word Count: 46900

~*~*~*~

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Today, I am thankful for:

1. The opportunity to see Lee on stage in just 9 days.

2. My wonderful children and thoughtful husband.

3. My health.

4. Good friends!

Yesterday, my visit with Rami was lots of fun, but too short as always. Time just flies when she's around. We watched a Paul Gross movie and some West Wing. I love it that we have so many interests in common.

Time to head off to the cousins' in Virginia!

2002-11-27T15:06:00.000-05:00

Today's Word Count: 1658
Total Word Count: 45009

Yay! I got done early today and I even went to the gym this morning. Now Rami and I can play when she gets here. Hee!

When I started this novel writing thing, I broke the numbers down into daily goals - what number word I wanted to be at when I finished for the day (i.e. 8335 words by the end of day 5, 30,006 words by the end of day 18 etc). So some days I'd go past my total word count goal and I could write fewer words on a susequent day. Today is the first time I hit my total word count exactly. I just thought that was rather interesting that I stopped on the exact number. Anyway, time to play! Rami will be here in an hour or so.

2002-11-27T13:53:00.000-05:00

Rami's coming over today! I haven't see her since Oct. 8, the day after we went to New York to see Lee et al at Kanvas. I think this is the longest time between visits for us. What with her curling activities and my novel project, neither of us have had the time! Now, we just have to decide what to watch when she gets here! Decisions, decisions!

2002-11-26T19:49:00.000-05:00

Today's Word Count: 1647
Total Word Count: 43351

2002-11-26T13:51:00.000-05:00

History of a Fandom Freak

I first heard the term ``fanfic'' in the fall of 1999 in a chat room for broadway actor Terrence Mann. Terry had recently finished a run on Broadway in The Scarlet Pimpernel playing Chauvelin. Chat room regulars were writing fanfic with the Pimpernel characters and sharing them with each other.

It wasn't until the summer of 2000 that I first came across the word ``slash.'' I had recently become obsessed with The West Wing and most especially with Richard Schiff who played Toby Ziegler. So I went trolling the internet for West Wing fanfic and came across this page that had two options -- het or slash. Out of curiousity, I clicked on slash and found a Josh/Sam story, so I started reading it not realizing that the two were romantically paired. I caught on pretty quickly though. ;) I finished reading it and I enjoyed it but was rather surprised because I had never before noticed any elements of homoeroticism in their relationship.

A few weeks later, West Wing's second season premiered and as I watched the interaction between Sam and Josh, I could most definitely see where these writers had gottent their ideas. Still, I couldn't bring myself to read any more of the slash stories. I figured out later than I can't read slash until I start watching a show *knowing* there's going to be slashy elements between two of the characters. If I've already watched it, I can't go back and change the way I see them. It just doesn't work for me. I tried it with Sports Night and Starksy and Hutch after I found out there were slash stories for these shows. No good. I just couldn't accept it.

Oz was easy because it was written right into the show and I didn't have to use my imagination, which is usually pretty formidable. Even so, I didn’t really become a Beecher-Keller freak until I saw Cuts Like a Knife in January 2001.

When Rami first started showing me The Sentinel episodes, I already knew about the slashy elements, so I watched for them and sure enough, I got hooked. The same thing with Due South, although it took longer for me to give in.

I also have to find both men extremely attractive (i.e. fuckable) in order for me to enjoy slash. I think that’s part of the reason why Josh/Sam and Casey/Dan don’t work for me. As cute as they are, I don’t really want to see any of them naked. As for S&H, I’ll take Starsky, you can keep Hutch.

Once I get into a fandom, I get pretty obsessive. I start spending money on things I really have no need for. After getting into the Sentinel, I bought every episode of on tape, with the exception of a few Rami already had. I bought pictures of the guys and tapes of other things they’d been in. And I even stopped reading Oz fanfic for awhile. This is why I resisted Due South for so long. I didn’t want to get sucked into that starting-up-a-new-fandom-obsession thing. But Rami kept working on me and after reading one of Bone and Mairead’s stories, I got hooked.

Still, my heart belongs to Oz because it was my first and because it’s a good show with lots of stories left to tell.

Even in a pairing where I find both men attractive, I always prefer one over the other. I will more likely write stories from that person’s POV and I find myself collecting more movies, t.v. shows etc. that they appeared on. For Oz, it’s definitely Toby. Lee Tergesen is my favorite actor, so that’s no surprise. On The Sentinel, I favor Blair over Jim and on Due South, I favor Ray over Fraser. I just usually connect with one a little more than the other. Other than that, I can’t explain it.

2002-11-25T19:45:00.000-05:00

Today's Word Count: 1674
Total Word Count: 41704

I went to visit the nanowrimo site for the first time since I signed up for this novel writing effort. I've been to go before but just never got around to it. I decided to go ahead and order a t-shirt. I haven't posted my word count on the site yet, but I may do that today or tomorrow. I'm not sure if I will post an excerpt, since I'm already doing it here.

~*~*~*~*~

I went to the gym today. I have been trying to get back on my gym schedule of three times a week but I keep getting waylaid by the writing and other things that have come up. Ever since the sniper, I've only been going twice a week on average. But this week, I am determined to get back on track. I sleep better when I am and I feel better, so I am determined. Luckily it's opened during the holidays in the morning so I am going!

This month, my life has dramatically narrowed down to writing the novel, taking care of children, going to the gym when I can, and dealing with minor crises. That's about it. I don't even have time for reading anymore, except late at night when I'm brushing my teeth. I mainly squeeze in a little fanfic that I've already read and know that I love. And I only have time for bare necessity shopping. No more wandering the aisles browsing. It's run and grab.

I don't mind this schedule for now, but I'll be glad when the month ends and I have more free time

2002-11-24T20:05:00.000-05:00

Today's Word Count: 1592
Total Word Count: 40030

~*~*~*~*~

Not much time for much blogging today. I spent most of the afternoon hunting down a hotel room for December 7 and panicking that I wasn't going to find one. When I finally found one (in Queens, for God's sake!), I spent the rest of the day trying to hit my word count. Damn, I'm exhausted.